New Year’s Resolutions
Ahhhh it’s that time of year again. The time when I sit down, with a glass of wine in one hand, a pen and paper in the other, and I begin the painful, slow dissection of my life. This usually ends with a line item that goes something like this: “limit glass of wine in the evening. Write more. Use computer rather than paper, save a tree”.
As you can see this has the potential to go horribly wrong.
I have one thing going for me this year that I have never had in the history of Sarah’s New Year’s Resolution list making, (which BTW was started the year I learned how to write, age 9 or 10 something like that, don’t ask!). My #1 standing, raining king of all
resolutions, has always been: LOSE WEIGHT. Some years it said “lose 20lbs by June 1st”. Post-kids it read something more like, “lose 60lbs, and please god, (at anytime in the next 12 months, by any means necessary) please melt these lbs off my ass”!! This year I could still put LOSE 10 MORE LBS BY JUNE 1ST, but let’s get real here for a second and say, it aint gonna happen! And what’s more, I’m TOTALLY OK with that! I actually don’t even give a crap anymore! I’m good just the way I am, and I do believe that’s the first time in my life I can say it and actually believe it. So check! Delighted to have that pesky little bastard off my list!
Mind you the other standards will still be present. DO YOGA WEEKLY. RUN DAILY. EAT HEALTHY. DRINK MORE WATER. The generic, all-bases-covered WORK OUT. So I’m not boycotting the whole, live well thing. Just lying off the guilt and self-loathing for a year.
The fundamental problem I have with New Year’s Resolutions is this.
A). They are essentially, total verification that everything your currently doing in your life is wrong. That if you really got off your ass and applied yourself in any one of these said areas on a daily basis, there would be no need for such a list.
B). The objective: tear your life apart limb, by limb and examine all the areas where you need vast improvement.
Example: BE A BETTER MOM. So the flip side to this is what exactly? That I’m totally inadequate as a mother to date? I mean really. How depressing is this!
OK. OK. So the reason we put ourselves through this hell, is that everyone should do a self inventory at least once a year. Take that opportunity to decide if you are indeed, on the right track. Chart your goals for the upcoming year so at the end of 12 months you can hopefully cross off a few, like I did this year. Then add the new ones that give you reason to improve the whole year through.
And to that end, I continue every year to bust out my journal and jot down my list of necessary self-improvements.
It’s hard not to let it depress you though, let’s be honest.
For example this year I put. START COOKING AGAIN. This is something that is very important to me and something I love to do. Do to the nature of the past year being a “survival” year and all, it’s kinda taken a back burner (I love a good pun….sorry). So I sat down and realized how much I missed cooking every night for my family and decided it needed prominent list placement. But then two things follow that. One, I’m sad because I don’t cook like I used to, because 2 two year olds and a 6 year old are less motivating to make a good gumbo for then another grown-up. Considering I would need to pry their mouths open to eat it (plus it needs to be spicy to be good, so let’s face it, sort of pointless). Two, I know if I really tried to make this happen in my new life it’s just not feasible on a daily basis, which swings right back around to point one, and the limb pulling begins.
|Happy New Year!|
But this list also brings possibilities. The hope that just because I do something today, doesn’t mean I need to do it forever. Just because I’ve formed habits, doesn’t mean they don’t need to be examined to see if those are indeed habits worth keeping, or if it’s time to make new ones.
This is why I do it. Not to pull myself apart and cause me to finish the Pinot bottle, when I set out to just have a glass. But to realize that, I am in control of my life. That I can, and should take inventory of it to see where the weak spots are. Examine what needs to be adjusted in order for me to reach the next step successfully in my journey.
To have bench marks.
To have goals.
To push myself.
To never be satisfied with survival.
To always want more for myself.
So cheers! Here’s to 2010 and the endless array of possibilities that lie ahead. To the course that we chart-out on a little list, may it push us to do bigger and better things. May we be patient and loving with ourselves when we see our shortcomings and when we fail. May we always pick ourselves back up again and never stop reaching for what is, in fact possible.
Written by Sarah Centrella