Monthly Archives: August 2010

Relationships

Family

Family. This word means so many different things to different people. It has no single definition, no right or wrong description. The word family is defined by each of us in different ways. Some may consider only those in their intimate, immediate circle of blood relations family. Others may extend that to friends, or other networks.

But to me, family is my brothers and sisters, parents and children. This group of individuals regardless of what may occur in life, will always be bound by not only blood, but that word as well. The word that transcends blood, that forgives faults, that holds us when we cry that toasts to our accomplishments, that is family.

Family supports you when you’re at your lowest point, they rally behind you, they raise you up.

Family beams with pride at graduations, tells everyone they know about your accomplishments.

Family understands as life changes so does our relationships with one another, but it’s not threatened in this knowledge. It remains confident, in the roots that run deeper and stronger then change.

Family keeps the faith when the rest of the world looses it.

Family defends you, fights for you, protects you. Loves you.

I’m blessed to know some of the most intelligent, amazingly strong, resilient and beautiful people on the planet, but more so because they are my brothers and sisters. They empower and amaze me. They give me strength and courage.

They inspire me to succeed, to become a better person. Their feedback enables me to do just that.

If I don’t say it often enough, I love you, family.

 

Written by: Sarah Centrella

Dating

Are Men Capable of Fidelity?

For real…

I’m asking a serious question here because I honestly am not sure they are. Yes, yes women cheat too. I know this. But as a rule, I have more than enough personal proof from the case studies I’ve done (aka dating) the past year and a half to show that all kinds of men, cheat. Most without even being apologetic about it.

The number of men in the last year or so who have been in a relationship yet still tried to date me is astonishing. In some cases they actually came out and told me they had a girl, (yet still tried to pursue me), but in most they just put themselves out there as single.

At least the first category I can half respect.

Those are the straight up tools that are simply looking for action on the side and I give them props for their honesty, though I would never consider their advances.

But the second category….I mean what are they thinking?

What is the point in starting multiple relationships with multiple women? Who has the mind space for that craziness? I know I wouldn’t, it would literally drive me insane. But over and over again, I seem to meet a “nice” guy who I will eventually discover has a “full time girl”. It’s the same story EVERY-time! I could write a script for how it will go down at this point! She will find my number in his phone and call me crying. I will tell her everything she wants to know. I will cut him out of my life, and loose yet another friend. Because regardless of the nature of our “relationship” the friendship aspect is always there and is what’s important and attractive to me.

Or maybe he’ll finally man up and be honest, at which point I’m faced with the decision of, should I tell her?

And always I’m the bad guy. This is the part I can’t understand. He never takes responsibility for his actions. Or his role in the situation. Never apologizes. Just turns from a friend and someone who I had learned to count on in my life, to an overnight psycho, angry at me. This was the case with my ex-husband, who to this day is still angry at ME for him cheating. Go figure!

Seriously what is wrong with these guys? Do they honestly think that in life you can have your cake and eat it too? That there are no consequences for the actions you take? That they are somehow above the rules and that hurting the people closest to them is a risk worth taking?

If I had a man I loved and one who loved me back, I would NEVER consider taking that risk. Never. But maybe that’s the difference. Maybe there are people who are born with a conscience and those who are not.

Regardless….”Don’t look for happiness, or you will not find it” –Eckhart Tolle.

 

 

Written by Sarah Centrella

My Stories Parenting Single Mom Life

County Fair

AHHH what could possibly spell the thick of summer as well as those words?

Growing up, you might say I lived what could be described as a sheltered life (now if there is such a thing as a COLOSSAL understatement that would apply nicely here). Hence, I vividly remember once a year when we would pack up into our Travel-All Wagon and drive the 60 miles to town and spend the ENTIRE day (as in 8 hours) at the Lane County Fair.

The sun would burn our shoulders and exposed arms (SPF…what??) as we weaved through the vendor booths, pitching free hot-tub give-a way’s, or giant lapel pins with your face on them. “Love See’s No Color” T-shirts folded in high smooth stacks on tables. Our feet would be caked in dust and dirt, our fingers sticky from a day of greasy finger food.

We would spend hours in the animal barns, with the 4H kids, looking at ribbons and trophies that seemingly average chickens or sheep had won, only god knows why. We’d judge the look of the home backed pies to see if the ones baring the blue ribbon really looked worthy. We’d plug our noses through the rows of over-stuffed pigs nosily grunting and trying unsuccessfully, due to their massive size to dog pile each other.

The baby chicks were our favorite. Neon yellow little moving fluff balls. Noisy and adorable. The sweet, yet repulsive smell of chicken feed mixed with manure, stinging just a little. (Growing up around animals and farms, there is something comforting about that aroma, something that would only disgust the novas observer).

We would beg our parents for ride tickets, and get the go ahead for one, maybe two as day turned into night. Night at the fair is pure magic, for a kid used to the black nights in the country. The endless badgering of sounds and flashing lights must be similar to how a newly 21-er feels when they see the flashing lights of the Vegas strip for the first time!

We’d finally make the long trek through dusty fields of cars to our dirty Wagon. Then pass out the second our butts hit the backseat, sleeping on each others laps for the long ride home in the pitch dark. Only to wake up the next morning and beg to do it all over again….it did last 10 days after all!

Then in high school the fair took on a whole new meaning. That’s where you went with your HS sweetheart, to waist the summer away. Riding roller coasters and tilt a- whirls, sharing elephant ears, and kissing in the B&W photo booth, to forever seal your love and the memory of a day, a moment, your youth.

You held hands. You visited the animal barns, because they were less crowded therefore, sneaking kisses and coping feels were easier to get away with. If you were lucky enough to have a license and a car (which I’m beaming with pride in this very moment to say I was one of the few and proud in my class! Paid for in cash with summer tips from waiting tables at 15), then you not only brought your lover but some friends as “chaperons’” for the adventure as well.

The summer was hot. Air-conditioning was for the rich, and something we only ever experienced at the mall. So we’d roll all the windows down, and us girls would let our long hair whip around our faces until it stung our cheeks and our eyes watered. We’d blast our hair-band ballads via the trusty cassette tape player, rewinding feverishly to hear again and again Right Here Waiting For You, or more importantly Everything I Do, I Do It For You. We would squeeze our lovers hand tightly and look into their eyes, and promise this was true.

We would be young and in love FOREVER.

No REALLY, forever.

30 was old. 16 was perfect.

We’d drive home an hour to the country, in the blackness of night only the moon or stars to illuminate those dark country nights and narrow windy roads.

We’d be tired, but ALIVE.

Sarah centrella's kids at the fair

Last night, on a spare-of-the-moment decision I walked through our little county fair, near our home hand in hand with my own little brood, (the results of for mentioned high school sweetheart and 8 years of marriage).

Just them, just me.

I’d never been to this fair.

But everything was the same.

I cheered them as they lifted their chubby hands on the final go around of the little dragon roller coaster. I got them bags of cotton candy and Carmel corn.

We danced on the grass to Warrant giving a live concert (yes an 80’s hair-band, who’s Heaven, was a regular rewind in my first car).I showed them the fat piggies and fluffy chicks. We marveled at the massiveness of the draft horses. We felt the velvet nose of “Genius” the clear favorite, Apache gilding.

Strangers stopped us, to complement them and me. One even stopped and said something like “ill pray for you that you’ll find your perfect man, it’s never too late, (yes in front of my kids..What the hell???) You do a great job with them and they are beautiful”…seriously. (It’s weird, trust me I KNOW this!).

And at 2 ½ hours past their bed time I put each girl on my hip, son in tow and trekked my brood through the dark dusty field to our car.

They promptly passed out the minute their butts hit the back seat.

Sometimes life does come full circle, and little things amaze you.

 

 

 

Sarah Centrella is the author of the book Hustle Believe Receive which teaches you how to apply the #HBRMethod to change your life and live your dream.

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Parenting

Life’s A Beach!

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I love those days when you have an epiphany.

Or maybe it’s just one of those rare moments when you are TRULY in the moment. Whatever it was, today was one of those times.

A year ago I took my little brood to the beach. I carefully packed us up in my little SUV… sand toys, towels, blankets, SPF 50, mountains of snacks, diapers, bottles, 3 changes of clothes for each of them and off we went! They were too anxious and excited to sleep in route as is normally the case, so by mid-afternoon when we arrived post our hour and a half drive everyone was understandably an even split between cranky and excited.
The girls were fresh off their 2nd birthday and Kanen was 6. I was nearing the one-year solo mark. This was an adventure for us, no question. All I can remember is how exhausting a trip it was, I know it was also fun and I have great memories of the girls doing a side-walk street show for the tourist and stopping traffic, but more so I remember, how many times I changed them, how I never sat for more than a second for fear of one of them running head on into the coming surf.

Today was work, I’m not gonna lie. But in comparison it was a cake walk! The girls are 3, Kanen is 7 and I’m starting to get the hang of this solo thing. And like always I’m not about to let it stop me from doing the things I love to do with my 3 little monkeys. Instead of 3 changes of clothes we just needed 2, (how easy is that!) no bottle or diapers, and they now wait patiently until we arrive to eat lunch or dinner, so no huge snack boxes for every second of the day are needed. Just throw the toys and towels in and off we go.

Today, I LAID DOWN on my towel and watched them build sandcastles and splash in the light surf for hours on end! They came and laid with me, we played together, it was easy and beautiful! The sun was warm on our legs and flushed our faces. They were calm and happy to be ankle deep in the smooth warm sand, hair blowing across their little faces. It was one of those days I can only pray they remember as fondly as I know I will.

And to think next year will even be easier!! AAHHHH !!

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