Her insecurities lead to a painful end to their relationship. They live in different countries now, but she is not able to get past it, to the point it consumes her life. She wants to know if The Secret will bring him back, and if focusing on positives will draw him back to her.
~Female reader in the UK
You said that The Secret brought you together, but that through your actions and insecurities you drove him away. And based on what you have described I can see how that would be true. Men do not like to feel trapped by a women who clings to them and cant function without them. At first they think it’s kind of
endearing, but quickly it becomes poison that kills the relationship. Then they do what he did, which is try to make you hate him so you would end it. That way he could get out of the relationship without breaking up with you, it doesn’t however mean that he didn’t want to end it, he just felt he was taking the nice way out. But from your story there is no question in my mind that he was through.
So your question is will The Secret bring him back to you and mend this relationship? I can say that I cant imagine how or why it would.
This relationship is NOT healthy. It wasn’t healthy for a long time. Look at the way you have emotionally pined for him since he left, to the point you cant eat? What about that is healthy or good for you? I understand that you love him. Love makes things hard, but it also makes us stupid and blind. There is one basic truth which is, if he wanted to be with you right now he would be. He would have come home, and you would be together. But that is not the reality and that is something that you need to face to be able to move on to what is really the right situation that is waiting for you.
The sooner you can accept this, the better for you.
If you believe in The Secret then you know that what you think about, what drives your emotions and feelings, and what you obsess about is what you get more of. So the more you obsess about him the crazier your head gets. It doesn’t bring him to you, it just makes you go crazy. Does that make sense and at all feel like whats been happening? It just keeps getting worse and worse in your mind right? To the point where you are seeing a clairvoyant to try and give you his feelings and emotions, does nothing sound crazy to you about that?
The Secret can bring you a loving amazing relationship, but I can almost promise you it will not be this one. If you could focus all the negative energy you are wasting on this old relationship which is finished (regardless of what anyone says, he is moving on with his life), and instead channel that into positive feelings toward yourself then you would be on the right path to happiness and finding the man of your dreams.
But you will NOT be ready for him in this condition. You need to take the time to heal your heart, and build your self-esteem for real. When you get to a place of confidence and love for yourself, where you are happy on your own…then the universe will deliver your wish. If it brought it to you now, you would get the same result as last time.
Remember that when you do find that right love, that insecurity and jealousy are cancer to a relationship. Read my post “kill the voices in your head” and really let that set in. You have got to kill these voices in your head that want to take you down. You need to get control of your thoughts, feelings, and emotions which will lead to the results you want. Don’t let doubt and insecurity take away from the beautiful women you are.
So if I were you (and believe me I have been many times!!). I would do whatever I had to, to clear my head of him. Delete any way you have of contacting him, get rid of messages, emails, photos whatever it is that you dwell and obsess on that remind you of him, get RID of it! Then get some mantra’s ready to start working on YOU. Reading the posts I suggested above gives tips for this as well as “Believe. But how?” and “Belief 101” I also have an old one I wrote about my experience called “letting go” which might help. I have struggled with this very thing on several occasions. Until I came to the realization that I was holding on to negative and not trusting that the universe knew what was best for me and had ended the relationship for me.
You then need to believe that the right guy is on his way. So your job now is to get your heart and head ready so you can have a long healthy relationship when he comes your way.
Don’t let this get you down. Let it hurt. Get mad, whatever you gotta do until you face the truth, and make the change. You can do this! I know you can! Get free from the prison you put yourself in, and come outside…it’s nice out here 🙂
Find peace and freedom in letting go…
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