It’s funny how when your successful, happy and on top new people are drawn to you. They want to know what your secret is, they want to be around you. Then some of your old friends turn to silent haters. They pretend to be happy for you, but secretly they wait for the day, when you once again fall. They cant find it in themselves to truly support or be happy for your success.
But it’s even funnier to me how few people show up when you are in trouble. When you hit a rough patch, when they watch you struggle. Crickets. All the ones who were so happy to know you last month scatter like cockroaches when the light goes on. No one wants to be associated with you, no one wants to look you in the eye. It’s like your body is covered in contagious poison that could be passed on through any type of contact. Everyone wants to pretend they aren’t rubber-necking watching your train wreck, yet they are glued silently. It’s interesting to me how few offer a helping hand, and those that do offer it quickly with a prayer that it wont be accepted. The rest just say “you can do this, your strong this is nothing to you”.
Let me tell you, this would be something to ANYONE. Yes I’ve had nine lives, and I do my best to land on my feet each time, and let me assure you I will again. But that doesn’t mean that each major set back doesn’t affect me the same way it would affect you. I am no different than any other parent out there who when faced with the real possibility of being homeless overnight, wouldn’t freak out. I AM freaking out, as any parent would be in my shoes.
That’s why I’m going to make this uncomfortable for you. I’m going to make you see this. It’s not fun and it’s not pretty. But being me, being real is all I know. I’ve said in every response to a blog question that I HAVE BEEN THERE, whatever the situation is/was. I can relate. So now you can watch me start from scratch again. I want you along for the ride, bumpy or not. We are in this together!
A month ago I was in my Manhattan two bedroom apartment suite, tonight I am in a shitty dive hotel provided by charity. I’m glad that in both instances I was SO grateful to have each. In one I was pinching myself, in awe that it could really be my life, a moment I was living. In the other I’m so happy to have a roof over my head, and my children in bed next to me. I’m proud of myself that when I first walked into that suite in NY, I took a video the way a little kid would. I was gitty and blow away to be there. I’m glad that I never took one second of it for granted. I’m glad that I lived in the moment. I’m just as grateful for this room tonight, the one provided to us by the Red Cross, as I was that night.
And if there is ONE THING I KNOW, it’s that I will get back on my feet and on top fast. And like always it wont be from handouts or on the backs of others, it will be by my own true grit and determination. But I also KNOW that if I ever see someone struggling the way I have been this week that I will be the friend that steps up (like my girlfriend and sister did for us this weekend). I will be the one that doesn’t ask, “what can I do?” but not really mean it. I will be the one that just shows up, arms full, heart overflowing. I’ll be the one that shows up.
I guess it’s just disappointing to know that so few people in life are made with that inside them. I don’t want anything form anyone, that’s not at all what I’m saying. I’m simply saying that as a society we are all so numb to what we see others go through, we always just assume they are fine, when the truth of the mater is maybe they need you. They probably wont say so, they will probably tell you they are fine, but if you suspect otherwise then in my opinion it’s our job as a human race to just step up and do. Realizing that when someone is going through a difficult time they are probably not going to ask you for help, or even accept it when it’s first offered. So if your not sure what to do, but you want to do something (this is totally generic works for any situation I think), just show up. With anything a gas card, movie passes for kids, offer to babysit, idk there is a million things you can do to show support that don’t have to do with money. Maybe just call, check in. Let them know they are not alone.
Maybe we should all open our horizons a little and try to put ourselves in someone else’s shoes and just be selfless even for a minute.
I know that is the lesson I will walk away from this experience with. #1 the Red Cross kicks ass and I will support them for life #2. I’m going to be a doer, always.
“when times are hard you stand up” Show Goes On….
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Song: Show Goes On