Today was a rough day, it was the kinda day when the old me would really, really enjoy a pity-party. When all I wanted to do was sit down, and say I quit! I’m tired of bustin my ass always to run into brick walls. I’m tired in general.
On January 1st of this year I had an overwhelming sense that this would be my best year yet. That this would be the year where all my hard work would pay off, it would be the year that changes everything. I felt it, I verbalized it, and I BELIEVE it (not believed) with all my heart.
And then….All day today I fought the urge to add up all the facts. Fought to keep the negative thoughts from totally depress me. These are the facts that I kept mentally playing tennis with all day long:
- In March my position that I loved was eliminated at work.
- Got a job I loved even more in April, which was also eliminated in May.
- In June my home flooded which left me and my 3 children homeless for the month of June, and because I had no job or unemployment, was at the mercy of the Red Cross.
- Yesterday while driving my kids, and a friend home at about 9:30 PM my car’s accelerator got stuck and the anti-lock breaks froze. After avoiding a high-speed, highway collision, I was able to get the car in neutral and get it off to the side of the road. However, potentially dropping the transmission in the process. Thank God my girlfriend was able to send her husband to pick us up and take us home, but being on the side of the road in the black of night with three little kids for 45 minutes is a little frightening, to say the least. My car is still there. Financially I’m not in a position to fix it. I’m not exactly sure what if anything I can do, in the near future.
So yeah. Today I fought the urge to throw a pity-party or to add up these facts. Instead each time, they tried to creep in, I replaced them with one single thought “I am beyond grateful that my 3 babies, me and our best friend who were all in the car, got out of that death trap safely, thank you God for all our blessings”. That has been my mantra all day. It’s the only thing I will allow myself to focus on. Especially considering the night before there was a huge 4 car pile up outside our house, just minutes after I got home which caused life-threatening injuries to multiple people (that had really shaken me up). I’m blessed and grateful to be safe. If I’ve learned anything it’s that everything shy of death is something that I and anyone else can handle and take. Somehow, some way anything that is not that, we can deal with, and it will all work out. So thank God.
But if I didn’t have these tools, I would seriously want to quit when these things happen. I’m used to dealing with extreme adversity, I have my whole life. But at a certain point it gets fucking annoying! At a certain point you just are ready for shit to get easy.
Before I sat to write this, I was chatting on Facebook with a friend who’s mind always inspires me….and I remembered how blessed I am and how freaking far I have come. And that this year HAS BEEN THE BEST OF MY LIFE. I’ve done and accomplished more this year then any other. And though things have been hard, they are teaching me lessons, and I’m determined to be awake and aware to receive them. I KNOW, LIKE I KNOW, LIKE I KNOW, that this year will bring me more joy then pain in the end. That my dreams come true more and more with each passing day, and that all of this struggle is to remind me that I am strong. That what I’ve learned DOES work, not just for me but for many of you. I know it does because you write to me and tell me how you’ve applied it to your life and it’s changed you as well. That alone is worth all the struggle I’ve faced. To see the hope in someone who didn’t have it before, that is more rewarding then anything I’ve ever done in business. I really am blessed and grateful beyond measure, for all that each of you teach me, and for the encouragement you give.
My motivation for life~ today’s status reminders:
- I can do it, I am strong.
- Aint nothing gonna break me, nothing gonna hold me down, I’m gonna keep on movin.
- I’ve been to the bottom, I’ve suffered a lot. I deserve to be rich headed straight to the top.
- Dare you to try and break me. Aint gonna happen.
- When faced with a seemingly insurmountable obstacle, u can A. find a way to make it surmountable or B. Quit. what are u made of?