Love of my life.
I was lucky enough to meet with a very dear friend of mine last week while I was on vacation in Los Angeles. She’s always been somewhat of a guru to me, since my early twenties. She is much older and wiser than me, and for some reason her words always grab me, and are exactly what I need to hear.
We talked late into the night, and through tears I told her about the one man I’ve loved and lost since my divorce. Told her I was sure he was the love of my life, something I’ve only ever said about my children. But yet, it still wasn’t meant to be. I told her how hard the past year has been for me, trying to let go of that, and of him. And how unfair it has felt, to have met the one person you feel is the other half of your soul, yet have the circumstances and timing not be right. I asked her why? And this is what she said to me…
I immediately tried to protest and say, “no my kids are”.. but she stopped me cold. “YOU are the love of your life. Not your children, and certainly not a man. Your kids will grow up, and move away and start families of their own, and what will be left is YOU. A man can, and has left you. Only you can be the love of your own life.”
I’ve been thinking of that ever since. And at first I resisted it. It sounded too selfish and narcissistic for my taste. But then tonight I heard it again, and had my ahha moment. There really is no way to love another until you have the foundation of love within yourself. If you have it already, then no one can take it from you. If you have it already then you don’t need to look for someone else to give it to you. It’s like going through the winter with a borrowed jacket. If you don’t have your own warm winter coat, and are always relying on someone else to lend you one, there will come a day when they need it, or they are not there to lend it to you. Without it you’d freeze to death. It’s up to you to get your own coat. To keep yourself warm and protected.
Knowing that takes the sting out of feeling like you’ve found that
one person on the planet that is meant for you, but cant be with you.
Knowing that helps take the pressure off ever having to “find” that
again. If it’s already inside me, than I don’t need to search… when
the time is right, he will find me.
|Looking for love? Look in the mirror.|