A text message changed my life. On an ordinary day in September 2008, while my then husband of eight years and high school sweetheart of sixteen, was in the shower, I picked up his phone and read “I can’t wait till your finally free, and all mine. No more sharing.”
That message instantly ended a marriage. It left me with three small children (my twins had just turned a year old, and my son was five), without a job or income to support them. Overnight the world I’d spent a lifetime building crashed and burned, and I found myself in an unthinkably vulnerable and terrifying position. It seemed beyond impossible.
The day I found out, I had nothing. No access to bank accounts, not five dollars to my name. The rent and utilities were past due, and I was out of formula and diapers for the babies. He was our only source of income, and when he left so did the ability to feed and take care of my family. That night amid the devastation and my inability to inhabit my body or feel reality, I remember my girlfriend walking through the front door. I was lying on the living room floor, my face on the cold wood, sobbing. I don’t remember much, it’s honestly a blur. But I do remember her arms overflowing with industrial-size boxes of diapers, cans of formula, food, and enough cash to keep the water and lights on. That moment is the defining moment of my life. It’s the moment that has driven my relentless pursuit. The moment I hustle and grind for. It’s the reason I get up when the floor looks like such a damn good alternative. I decided that night, to stand. In that moment, I realized that somehow, some way, I would survive this and find a way to reinvent my life.
Within a week of him leaving I sold everything we owned that would fetch ten dollars, wedding rings included. Everything I’d spent a lifetime acquiring… sold to the first Craigslist caller. I raised enough funds to move us from our home to a tiny two bedroom rundown apartment. I stood in line at the welfare office for the first time in my life, the twins in their stroller, holding my sons hand, tears dripped off my chin and onto the papers in my lap. I couldn’t look at the case worker when I asked him to put us on Food Stamps. Day and night I searched for a job. Keeping the fact that I was now a single mom of three very small children, a secret as long as possible. Two months passed and I was completely out of money.
The day I walked into my first real job interview, I knew it was do or die. If I wanted to keep my family together I had to walk out with a job. I put on a layer of confidence I never knew I was capable of pulling off. In the lobby I envisioned my day to day life, imagined myself working at the desk, coming into work in the morning, made a real-life movie in my head. I convinced myself they had no choice but to hire me, after all I’d already pictured myself working there. They gave me the job. My salary was only big enough to cover rent, daycare and the car payment, nothing more, but I didn’t care. Somehow I was happy, and proud of myself for surviving on my own, and grateful for what little I did have. Somehow I believed that this was my second chance at life, and that this time I was in control of my future.
Slowly I began to dream.
That year I manifested my first vision board, one thing after the other, Hawaii, Hollywood, Las Vegas (my company booked me a room at the Paris hotel, and I didn’t ever recognize I’d lived out that manifestation until I got back to work and saw the picture on my board). The magic was in full swing. For the first time in my life I was happy, fulfilled and living the kind of life I’d imagined, planned out and executed on.
You don’t need to be rich to live the life of your dreams; you just need to allow yourself to dream, and be willing to let nothing stand in your way.
Now it’s YOUR turn. Live the life you’ve imagined.“Anything is possible child, anything can
be.” –Shel Silverstein