The Biggest Challenge of MY Life

I’m about to embark on the biggest challenge of my life, and I’m scared out of my mind.
I met my trainer yesterday.
Need I say more?
Didn’t think so.

That does NOT take away from the very serious fact that one of my greatest earthly fears (aside from drowning and plane crashes) is working out with a trainer. I mean it’s so humiliating. They see you at your most disgusting (and they are usually hot, so let’s just add insult to injury why don’t we). I have NEVER worked out with anyone my entire life, and yes despite what you might think, I do work out. I’ve gone from fit, to not fit, to fit so many times in my life I’ve lost count. But I’ve never made it there, where I really want to be.  It’s been a life long elusive battle. And since I first found Jane Fonda at 13 I’ve been trying to find my burn, alone.

The thought of working out while someone watches me is just so repulsive.
I’m dreading this.
I’d rather pull my hair out.

My poor trainer, bless his heart, he believes in me. I believe in me too, just not as much as he does, but again that is his role in all of this right? And I’m CONVINCED he is going to turn me into a pin-up, poster child of awesomeness. No doubt in my mind. Sadly I do realize that I have a minor role in this transformation, but heck if he can believe in me and give me a blank slate from which to sculpt a super-model, I’d be stupid not to listen right?

Thank god I believe in the Law of Attraction. That alone helped me take off and keep off 35 lbs the past 2 years, but now I want more. I wanna see what I’m made of, what I’m capable of. I figured what better way to prove to myself that I really can achieve anything than to get in the best shape of my life at 36, I mean how hot would that be? I’ve always said I’d rather look amazing at 40 then at 20, so now is my chance. (OMG, just realized for the very first time, that 40 is 4 years away, why am I so bad at math? Maybe it’s a self defense mechanism). This particular goal has been one that has loomed larger then life since I was like 12, and was first called chubby (maybe I was 7, who knows) but I’ve ALWAYS wanted to know if I was really capable of getting there, of having the body I knew was here somewhere hiding under my curves.

This scares me on an ADD and discipline level too, lets be real. I’ve never considered myself terribly disciplined especially before learning how to apply the Law of Attraction. I had never focused or trained my mind to do anything before that. But now I know how, so I think the time is perfect to put it to a physical test. And why not let you watch me do this too? I know many of you out there struggle with these issues as well, so maybe this will give you some motivation and strength.

My poor trainer, he has no idea what he’s gotten himself into. But I believe in him. I gave him my word that I will listen and obey and do EVERYTHING he says, so you are all my witness that I have to do this. He says if I do, that it will only take 6 months…how freaking awesome is that? I’ve tried to get there on my own, for let’s just say 30 years (it’s not unrealistic to think that I was trying to lose weight at 6, trust me!) so 6 months is nothing. That’s not even as long as I gave up drinking to be pregnant, three times. So I got this.
Mind over matter.
Visualize the result.
I can do it, I am strong.
And on the bright side he’s gonna fix everything I was saving up my penny’s for Dr. 90210 to fix (picture on my Vision Board), but this is better. Even I know that.
Thank you Jermayne, I will be your best client ever. I promise to shut my mouth and do what I’m told (I said try right? Crap, no I said promise).



  • Ada de Alkar
    September 18, 2011 - 11:52 am | Permalink

    Hi Sarah, I like very much this article. It seems you´re scared but you don´t have to. I´m sure you´re not. You´ll get it because you´re strong and because you´ll feel really good seeing you looking much better, feeling healthier. I like play sports. I do daily gymnastics at home and weekly swimming. I´m lucky…I ever was skinny but my body thanks to me sport, walking, taichi, meditation…I mean anything to make it feel healthy. So trust him (your trainer) and enjoy yourself , all your cells in your body are gonna thank you so much. Ask – Believe – Receive…tha´ts my daily work too, my biggest challenge is to find the vibrational tone to attract the life I want to live. So go ahead, we deserve success, we are nice girls…thanks to write for us…;-)

  • Stephany
    September 19, 2011 - 7:11 am | Permalink

    Sarah, you can do it. I believe in you and keeping off 35lbs for 2 years thats alot. I can barely keep off a few pounds. Lol But I honestly think you look amazing the way you are your a beautiful woman.

  • Jim
    September 21, 2011 - 2:17 pm | Permalink

    What is your “arrangement” with your trainer?

  • September 21, 2011 - 3:52 pm | Permalink

    Well Jim/James, I’ve removed your other comments to this question because
    1. To be blunt it’s really not your business. I would of outlined in the post if it was something that I was “advertising” but it’s between his professional orginization/company and me.
    2. I dont like your continued implications otherwise, I feel it’s inapproporate and didn’t warrent a response. But since this is the 3rd time you’ve posted the question, I will address it. I am documenting my transofrmation and giving him credit where credit is due. Rather then working with him and saying I did all this alone, I know I cant do it alone so he deserves to take the credit. Hope that addresses your concerns. And I do not know him outside of our trainer/client relationship, met him for the first time at orentation.
    Does that answer your question?

  • November 25, 2011 - 7:21 pm | Permalink

    Good job, and good luck! Taking that first step is important, but that’s just the beginning. You still have a long journey and a lot of work to do.

    From the looks of it, you have a wonderful trainer who will be there for you. Here’s to hoping for your success! Cheers!

  • Tanya M
    May 29, 2014 - 2:24 pm | Permalink

    Sounds like it wasn’t the best plan, he should have listened to you. But either way good job and keep it up.

  • sam
    September 9, 2015 - 7:14 am | Permalink

    wow! Sarah your challenge essay sounds good to me i hope you can continue further

  • What do you think?

    %d bloggers like this: