Tag Archives: Sarah’s Advice

Health & Fitness

A Letter to My Daughters on Turning Forty

My Darling Daughters,

Right now, you are nine-years old (well, almost ten) and your skin is porcelain, smooth and glowing. In summer, it turns this fantastic shade of deep golden brown, when it’s been kissed by the sun (even when I’ve coated it in layers of SPF 50). Your hair is ten gorgeous shades of blond, from crisp white, to soft brown, resulting in a natural highlight job most of us would kill for. Your eyebrows are thick and overgrown, your eyes clear and bright.

You are truly perfect.

A letter to my daughters on turning forty
My beautiful girls

So, I thought I’d let you know what’s looming in your future, say in about thirty years. Now this isn’t to depress you, or scare you, it’s just all the things I wish someone had told me when I hit forty. Sure, I’d heard “it’s all downhill once you hit forty.” But no one ever expanded on what exactly would be sliding down that hill. And besides, I was like you are, I always believed that it would NEVER happen to me. I’d be the one exception in history that would never be damaged by age. Yes, I know you think that too, and you’ll keep thinking it through your thirties, as you should. But than one day you might wake up and say; “hold the fuck on… wasn’t my eyebrow ABOVE my eyelid?” read more »

Single Mom Life Travel

Why My Kids Are Planning Our Italy Adventure

5 Reasons why my three young kids are planning our Italy adventure this fall. 

Why My kids are planning our Italian Adventure

Going to Italy is not just a vacation for me, it’s the realization of a life-long dream, and what some might call a near obsession. Since my teens the allure of discovering Venice; driving the winding roads of Tuscany, and eating pasta in Rome, has pulled at the very core of me. It’s almost a spiritual, attraction I feel, as if it’s the one place I’ll feel most at home in the world.

For this reason I didn’t want to just take my kids to Italy, I wanted them to understand it’s magical spell and help me discover it for the first time; together as a family. But how can I make two nine-year-old’s and a thirteen-year-old, really get it?

read more »

Single Mom Life Travel

Single Mom Road Trip Survival Guide

I grew up going on long road trips, when my family would drive from Oregon to California to visit relatives or friends several times a year. Back then we’d all pile into an old beat-up station wagon, pack some sandwiches and pray we wouldn’t end-up broken down on the side of the freeway (which we almost always did).

So when I became a parent it seemed logical that driving would be the way to go if I needed to take my family less than a thousand miles. I made a few such trips back when I was married with one child, but when I became a single mom with three kids… that’s when it became interesting!

Travel matters to me, a lot. I think as parents, one of the most important things we can do for our kids is show them the world, even if it’s just a few hundred miles from home. And so I committed to sharing this experience with my children from the very start of this single parent journey. Over the past eight years we’ve made an annual road trip as part of our summer vacation, and I’ve learned a few tips that might help you make traveling with your kids a little less scary and hopefully fun!

 

read more »

Health & Fitness Your Life Coach

6 Steps to Getting Out of a Funk

This is a follow-up to my last post: Postpartum of a Dream.  Writing that post helped me to process so much of what I’d been avoiding for the past year, and helped start my journey back to where I need to be. I received a ton of messages, and comments on Facebook from people showing support, and I’m so grateful for all the love. I hope it also opened the discussion about what you might feel once you’ve reached a major goal in life, many people reached out to me saying they’ve experienced something similar. This all has reinforced my belief that I must always be REAL with you (and myself), even when it’s painfully difficult.

So the following is how I got out of my funk. It took conscious effort (as it always does to get anything we want), but I was finally ready to put in that work. And I have to say that within 48 hours I felt like a new women! It doesn’t take long for us to turn it around, we just have to WANT to and be COMMITTED to getting results.

1. I made the decision.

I’d known for about a year that I was suppressing and avoiding a lot of emotions that I figured would some day come back to bite me in the ass, but I consciously chose to put them off. Until the day I wrote that post. That was when I decided that no matter what, I was going to turn this shit around. I would face the emotional things I needed to address, work on processing everything I’d been shoving down, and turn on my hustle to make a change.

You too, will have to get to a place where you make a concrete decision to change. Nothing can happen until you’ve truly reached this point. Rock bottom is great for forcing this issue, as it was for me. So if you haven’t hit it yet, consider yourself lucky! Take action now, because I can assure you from experience, that rock bottom is coming to FORCE the issue if you keep putting it off.

read more »

Parenting Single Mom Life

10 Ways to Avoid Being a Single Mom Trainwreck.

Being a single mom (or parent) is hard. I think that’s a pretty universally known fact. But you know what makes it waaaay fucking harder? Trainwreck single moms. They give us all a bad name! They’ve created stereotypes that make an already difficult life, feel like a constant uphill battle.

Brittany Spears single mom train wreck
I’m definitely NOT a perfect single mom in any regard. I’ve had to learn some of these lessons the hard way. But I’ve always consiously tried to live by these rules and defy the stereotypes. I’ve wanted to be an example for others, who like me, want to be taken seriously in business, as parents and in our personal lives.
This list is for all you hotmess single moms… get yo shit together! For real. And this is for all you brand-new single moms, or those going through a recent divorce. I wish someone had told me these rules when I was first starting out!

read more »

Books I Love

Think and Grow Rich… Is It Working?

It seems like I always have the best epiphanies when I’m on cross-country flights.  For some reason I find them so inspiring. I, like everyone else, need inspiration wherever I can find it.

When you have a dream, you’ve defined it, committed to it, work at it tirelessly and believe in it with all your heart — you will be faced with times when NOTHING seems to be happening. That’s when you start to question everything.  Experience tells me that pushing through those times, is the key to get the ball rolling again.  But sometimes it’s so hard. It’s  easy to lose your way in times like that. And when you allow those times to drag on and on, and don’t put an end to those thoughts and feelings that’s when it starts to become dangerous. That’s when you’re at risk of losing it all together. And that’s the stage when most people become overwhelmed with doubt and start to think that it’s all a bunch of crap and that the Law of Attraction doesn’t work.

Two years ago I got a book called “Think and Grow Rich” by Napoleon Hill.  It instantly lit a fire under me. In the back of the book, on the last two blank pages, I wrote out my plan for success in detail. With defined deadlines and specific “moments” I expected to live out and manifest. Then I put the book away. That was September 1, 2011.

 

My 2011 goals written at the back of the book

Before I walked out the door headed to the airport yesterday, I grabbed the book off my nightstand. And on my flight I began reading it again. I read over the plan I’d written out two years ago to the day. And I measured my progress against that plan.

I did not reach my goals. In the last two years I have not hit my timelines and bench marks and have not lived out all those moments. And as any logical person would do, I asked myself why not?

Here is what I realized.

All of those plans where centered around ONE specific requirement on MY part… to finish writing a quality memoir of my life. 

I did finish my first attempt at my memoir, but it wasn’t good enough. I am a green writer and these things take time, and lots of re-writes! So when it came down to it, I did not do MY part. I had a plan, I had a vision, I had belief, but I had let the hustle die. I had written two versions of my book and then I got discouraged. I let it get to me, and got lost in the doubt and let the project sit on my shelf.  So how can I question if any of this works if I’m NOT doing my part? How can my memoir end up on the New York Times Best Seller List, if I never finish writing it? I mean helllloooo!

Sometimes when we find ourselves discouraged, because we are not making the progress we set out to make.  Or because it’s taking too long.  Or it’s not happening the way we envisioned it to go… maybe we need to stop and take an unbiased inventory of our part in the process. Have we met and exceeded our goals? Have we finished what we set out to accomplish. If not, why not?

The magic can’t work if we have not put ourselves in the position to receive it. We can not expect success without work. We can not expect wealth without effort.

Our dreams are dependent on us doing the work to put us in the position to make them come true. If we have not adequately prepared, if we have not done our part, then no matter how much we struggle to get our dream to manifest –it remains just that, a struggle. Not a manifestation.

 

Want to work with me? Learn more about my coaching and schedule a free 15 min consultation to learn how you can live your dreams!

 

Your Life Coach

Letters From Readers: Self-esteem

*This is an email chain from a question received from Tammy.  It is used with her permission, in hopes it will resonate with you as well.
Sarah… I am from Jamaica, I happened to stumble across your blog and I’m reading it till 3 a.m. 🙂I was bullied in high school… It got extremely bad and since then I have become a shadow of what I used to be… I am 19 years old but so full of anger and hatred that it consumes me and I am turning into a horrible person. I used to believe in the law of attraction and I have manifested many academic achievements in my life, but I have found it so hard to use it for changing my mindset and trying t heal from all this bullying… I have so much of self-loathe and I can’t even look in the mirror without cringing… I thought once I had left school (out of the bullying environment) all my insecurities would vanish and I’d be able t start fresh…
However I find that all my actions are confined by the thought that ”People are just out to get me” and ”Hurt them before they hurt you”. I have so much to be grateful for. I have an amazing family network and I have many people in my life who really love me and don’t see all the negative things I see in myself. I am so mean to them because now I cannot confine my ‘anger’ anymore and I lash out at everyone. I am realizing that I am my worst enemy. When it comes to academics, I have used the law of attraction and the results were nothing less than amazing. That is why my circumstances at the moment have made me turn back to the secret. I needed inspiration on how to get started again and then I came across your blog 🙂

You made me believe once again and for that I thank you. I love how you included how God fits into The Secret because that is something I always struggled to understand. My biggest fear in life is that I will settle for less than I deserve all because I don’t believe I’m worth it… I will hopefully try and change for the better 🙂Thank you once again
God Bless.
Hi Tammy,
Thanks so much for being patient, the past week or so has been crazy. I’m grateful that you came across my blog and I’m so honored that it meant something to you.
First let me say that I’m so sorry you had to go through that and that coming out of it has been such a painful and difficult experience for you and your family. I can certainly see how that experience can make you bitter and angry, and feel like you have low self-worth. I believe your question is how you can try to put this behind you, and stop taking the negative feelings, anger and guilt with you….

Here are my thoughts…

First people do not define you. YOU define you. There is NOTHING that anyone can say good or bad about you that defines the person you are. You create the person you want to be every single day. What others think of you or say about you is their jealousy and insecurity and cruelty PROJECTED on to you, but it’s NOT who you are. People saying these things about you doesn’t make it true. To me that is the first thing you REALLY need to understand, you need to know that those are all just words that other people from a place of negative evilness tried to associate with you, but they are NOT you.

You ARE beautiful and the ONLY way you will ever feel beautiful and begin to change that negative voice and turn it into a positive one where you believe that you’re actually beautiful is if you start saying it to yourself, all the time. All of those mean evil things they said to and about you that in your heart you KNOW are not true, you need to make new mantras for those that are the opposite of all the negative-ness. So if they said you are too skinny, say to yourself that you’re a healthy beautiful weight, say to yourself how glad you are that you can wear certain clothes and that your healthy. If they said that your ugly, look in the mirrors and look at your own eyes in the reflection and tell yourself 20 times every morning and 20 times every night before bed that you are beautiful. Have someone who is good at photography take some great photos of you, ones that you like of yourself. Try to see yourself in the eyes of your family and the people who love you. Put the pictures on Facebook so you can hear the positive feedback and let it soak in.

It will take a long time to change those negative feelings about yourself but you can do it, I promise. Remember that what you focus on expands. That means that whatever you think about, you get more of. So if you are thinking all day how ugly you are and how angry you are about it, the more ugly you will feel and them more angry you will become, it’s 100% guaranteed. So you need to flip that.

It will be a baby step process to start off with but, you can do it. Every time you get a bad thought replace it right away in your head with the good one. Practice telling yourself that you’re beautiful and smiling and see how much better you feel after a few days. Smiling will do so much good for you right now, because it’s the opposite of how you want to feel (aka angry).  But when you smile it’s impossible for people to dislike you, you’ll notice that strangers will be nicer to you, and you will feel more beautiful and get a better feeling from the people around you.

And lastly, please try not to feel guilty about this. Bullies should be punished and they can destroy people’s lives forever. You are very smart to have alerted the people around you to help get it stooped, I’m so proud of you for that. And you’re so smart to reach out for help to get through the feelings now. All of those things mean that you are very strong and you will get through this and be stronger for it.

Remember every time that you are angry or feeling ugly that those asshole bullies just WON. Picture their faces…do you want them to win? Do you want what they said about you to be your reality? Don’t let that happen, fight it every time, and soon you won’t have to fight it anymore, one day you will FEEL beautiful all the time, and you will be happy. But it’s not over night it takes work.

Good luck hun you can do it!

-Sarah

 

Tammy’s Reply:

Hi Sarah,

Yes thank you so much for your advice. I have actually started telling myself I’m beautiful. I tried that experiment today and although I didn’t believe it I was surprised that I got compliments. I have also started making my vision board. I will send you pictures once I am happy with it. Thank you for all your help. I am excited to start changing my life and I will let you know how LOA is working for me 🙂

I have also gotten rid of people who continuously insult my looks and those that continually remind me of my past and how I was bullied. That is why I got rid of fb… It was very scary at first but I am surprised to find that even though I have fewer friends now, I am SO much happier. I know they are still insulting me behind my back… but suddenly I just don’t care 🙂

At University, I have gathered a small group of friends who I urged to read your blog. We now share stories of how LOA works for us and try to improve our grades by using it. We are also working on our vision boards together and encouraging lecturers to incorporate it into teaching.

 


 

 

Sarah Centrella is the author of the book Hustle Believe Receive which teaches you how to apply the #HBRMethod to change your life and live your dream.

Follow on social media: Instagram | Twitter | Snapchat | Pinterest | YouTube |Periscope @sarahcentrella

 

Health & Fitness Your Life Coach

Sarah’s Advice. Reader Question: Cancer.

*This email chain is exact, and used with Sue’s permission. I felt it was an important one to share in it’s entirety as it’s dealing with a very sensitive subject, Health. I hope that it’s helpful for any of you going through similar situations.
Dear Sarah,
     I love reading your blog and find it an inspiration.
I discovered the Law of Attraction through reading The Secret, I know it works but could do with some extra help at the moment.
     Our 17 year old son has just been diagnosed with testicular cancer and will start chemotherapy soon.
     Even though the cure rate is over 98% I am struggling with staying positive and worry that all the sadness around us at present will affect other areas of our life in a negative way.
I would appreciate any thoughts you may have on staying positive and do you think you can transfer thoughts of healing to other people as my son doesn’t believe in The Secret.
Thank you for your time, wishing you health and happiness.
Best Wishes,
Sue
My Thoughts:
Dear Sue,
First let me say that your story brought tears to my eyes, I cant imagine being in your place right now. I can’t imagine how difficult it must be to keep faith alive in the middle of something so scary.
Here are my thoughts on your questions….
1.    In a time of intense trial like you are facing right now, the one thing that should give you comfort and hope is to KNOW that it will work out in the end. You mentioned that the cure rate is 98% which is amazing, so my advice would be to focus on that as diligently as possible.    Realize that when things like this come into our lives and happen to us that we can’t see what their purpose is in that moment. We don’t understand why or how any good can come from something tragic. But the Law of Attraction has taught me that in ever difficult situation no matter how trying that if we remain faithful to our belief and trust it to deliver us magically from the situation, that it will. 
     Much of what your facing is likely out of your control, so trust that what you are affirming (“my son will fully recover, he is healthy, he will live a long and healthy life”) will be your reality. Just believe it with EVERY FIBER OF YOUR BEING.  KNOW that in a year or 2 from now, he will be active and healthy and back living a “normal” life. Trust it. Let yourself visualize what that will be like when he has beaten this and it’s all behind you. Have faith that he will fully recover, imagine all of your lives back to that happy healthy place. Maybe plan a vacation or trip for this time next year. Give all of you something to look forward to.
2.    If you keep hope and faith alive (I know how hard it can be) and plan for you and your sons future like you normally would, and don’t let yourself dwell too long on what is lost (idk if maybe he can’t have children now…?? or something else) but stay focused on what you want and believe the outcome to be, then I absolutely believe that your thoughts and faith are enough for your whole family, including your son. Sometimes to believe we need proof, and your son rightfully is probably at a place where belief is very difficult and it seems like he’s facing proof of only bad things happening, therefore why believe? I fully understand that…so your faith is strong enough for him. He will see by the example you set that everything is going to be ok. That’s what he needs to see in your face and hear from you, so that you can be “The Secret” for him, and The Law of Attraction will give you that strength.
3.     I don’t believe the negative/sadness that your family is facing at this time will affect other areas of your life. I believe that as long as your remain focused on your end goal which is having your family together in a “normal” way doing regular things that you will get it. I really think doing a vision board or thinking about what that looks like, defining it will help you have hope. Put the pictures up of a vacation you want to take with him or things you want to do with him, then start talking about it, looking at the pictures and visualizing it. And one day soon, you will be experiencing that day with you son, just the way you envisioned it.
     My prayers, and heart go out to you and your family and I send you so much love 🙂
Sarah
Sue’s Reply:
Dear Sarah,
Thank you so much for your reply. I can’t tell you how much it lifted my spirits and my belief levels. You write beautifully and to think that someone who doesn’t know me shows such caring is awesome.
I am already planning a family holiday for the new year and am going to update my vision board.
Dan starts his chemotherapy in 2 weeks so if I may I will let you know how things go.
How are things going for you now?
Wishing you health, wealth and happiness
Best Wishes and much thanks
Sue
My Thoughts: Reply
Awe Sue, I would LOVE LOVE to know how things are going with Dan! Your story touched me so much…I literally read it and thought about it for 2 days.. it moved me so much.
My Doctor found tumors in my thyroid 2 years ago that thank god are at this point still non-cancerous but I know the fear that put into me, and living with the possibility they could still become cancer…but that is nothing compared to what you guys are facing. However I love that your heart and mind is in the right place and your effort and intention is in the right place…that is all you need, the rest will come on its own.
I’m so happy you are planning a vacation I think that will be wonderful for you all to look forward to.
Keep me posted! xoxo
Sarah
Sue’s Update:
Hi Sarah.
I hope you are well, thought I would send you a quick update on my son as he nears the end of his first cycle of treatment.
He is coping really well and is continuing a normal teenage life! His spell in hospital was a little hard for him as he felt poorly but once home recovered quickly.
Before chemotherapy he had surgery and I just wanted to share with you how reading The Power helped me.
I didn’t like the hospital he was due to go in due to past experiences. However as I began to feel anxious about the visit I thought of all I had learned about the LOA. On the way there I kept repeating how I loved this hospital as it was a place of healing and how everyone was kind and helpful. I became relaxed which helped my son and his surgery went well and everyone was great! I no longer fear hospital visits as I just imagine them as awesome places of healing.
Hope all is going well for you
Take care
SueMy Reply

     Thank you so much Sue for the update and I LOVE how you were able to turn your negative anxiety about the hospital into a positive place, because in reality you are so lucky the hospital and Doctors caught and treated your sons cancer early thanks to them he will make a full recovery! So he’s there to get well, not because he’s sick. I love that!UPDATE: Oct 1, 2011
I just received an email from Sue, her son just received the all clear from Doctors!!! So very happy for her and her family 🙂

 


Sarah Centrella is the author of the book Hustle Believe Receive which teaches you how to apply the #HBRMethod to change your life and live your dream.

Follow on social media: Instagram | Twitter | Snapchat | Pinterest | YouTube |Periscope @sarahcentrella

%d bloggers like this: