Tag Archives: Comedy

Health & Fitness Hustle.Believe.Receive.

Marathon Life. Week 11.

Today I had the best run to date.  My personal best… 9 miles, run at a 13.3 pace, 4.5 miles up a hill and 4.5 down. And for the first time I had no stopping, and  no walking.  Just non-stop trudging along.  And yes I was passed by a walker.  But that is beside the point.  Why? Because when I got my second wind, I zoomed (well, relatively speaking) right past my walking nemesis. So that was extremely gratifying.

But for real, today my body felt so different. Lighter, quicker (stop laughing), and I could actually feel my abs and butt and legs working instead of just pain in my shins, knees and ankles. Progress baby, progress.  I’ve also been seeing an acupuncture guy which has really helped my knees and body handle the trauma of these runs a little better.   Plus he’s aligning my Chi.  He said it was “stagnant’.  I said “I could have told you that!”  And then he asked me how my apatite had been lately.   I told him, ‘ehh so so’, I felt I was doing pretty good on that front but could always use any added help he was willing to give me.  So I asked if he had anything to take it away completely.  He nodded knowingly, though I wasn’t totally convinced. When I got up to leave he said, “So today you will probably be pretty tired so take it easy. You will also notice you’ll be very hungry.”  I looked at him mouth open.  “What? I mean, what do you mean? Why will I be hungry?” I was clearly showing my concern, and he patted my knee to reassure me everything would be okay. “It’s okay, it’s good for you to be hungry. You said you were ‘so, so.’  So now you’ll be hungry.”

If the risk of assaulting an acupuncture dude didn’t include possibly getting arrested I would have hit him. Seriously, hit him. Then my Chi woulda been allllll fucked up. But he would have deserved it, let’s be honest. I mean what on God’s green earth gave him the notion looking at ME that I’d want to have my appetite INCREASED? I mean….whaaaaatt?

So yeah.  Let’s just say the next few days were counter productive and leave it at that. I immediately registered for the Helvetia Half Marathon that the rest of my running group is doing but I was hoping to skip somehow. Thanks acupuncture guy… ruined that plan. But that’s okay, I’m kinda excited for next Saturday’s race.  It will be my first ever, and my deepest wish is that somehow I cross the finish line.  I will be perfectly fine if they are removing the race paraphernalia by the time I get there, and nothing but empty Gatorade cups strewed everywhere is the only thing cheering me across it…. just let me finish.

So be sure to follow my Saturday morning runs on Twitter (#MarathonLife)  from 7:00 am ’till I finish (who knows when that will be).  Yes I stupidly tweet and run at the same time  (I’m THAT girl).  But it’s basically the only thing that keeps me going while I’m waiting for my second wind, so tweet me, encourage me… make me laugh, anything to help the time pass.  I mean, I’m out there for HOURS on end running by myself like a lunatic.  It’s a recipe for insanity. I’m not responsible for what I might say in those hours of duress, I’ll just say it might be worse than drunk posting. Well, the inspired tweets are like; totally more brilliant than I normally could be, but the others… don’t judge me unless you wanna get your butt out here and run with me!

Pics form today’s run… your welcome.

unnamed987

 

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Gathering for our pre-run pep talk “Red and Proud” baby!

 

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Headed straight up that hill….

 

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So yeah… I was just past by a walker.

 

 

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“No matter how slow you go, you are still lapping everyone on the couch.” Portland Fit motto #LoveIt

 

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My reward, Starbucks and farmers market fresh flowers.

 

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This weeks progress pic.. Left: Week 8, right this week. Read my post about this Weight is ONLY a Number... you’ll be shocked.

Has this series inspired you? I want to hear from you… are you working out? Do you run? What do you love or hate about it? Can you relate to what I’m going through or do you just think I’ve lost my mind (that’s my vote). Remember I’m doing it to PROVE anything is possible for anyone if they apply Hustle.Believe.Receive. (no I’m not doing it to lose weight, which is a good thing since I’ve not lost any… well 5 lbs but same difference).
Author Bio:
Sarah Centrella is a Life Coach for professional athletes, and anyone with a dream. She is also an author and motivational speaker. Follow her on Twitter for motivation and inspiration, be sure to Subscribe for my newsletter and info on free coaching classes.

My Stories Sports Your Life Coach

Fear of Falling.

I have an intense fear of heights, as manifest by my complete breakdown and total panic attack last week attempting to take a flying trapeze class with my girlfriends.  I knew the minute I got the group text from my bestie, excitedly sharing the details of our excursion to celibate her birthday, that it was gonna be all bad for me. But I didn’t wanna be the only scaredy-cat loser in the group, so reluctantly I agreed to give it a try.

I could feel my heart racing when we walked into the airplane-hanger-sized tent that held the trapeze contraption over an enormous safety net.  My anxiety grew as my instructor hooked on my safety harness, then pulled it so tight it nearly knocked the wind out of me.  All the while I’m thinking;  just because I’m here doesn’t mean I’m actually doing this! The thought was so strong I almost wanted to ask him where he got the right to assume I was. But I bit my tongue, and tried to gulp down my rising panic. I watched as he demonstrated our first jump; back-flips, and knee-hangs, as if he was weightless and it was the most natural, graceful thing on earth.

I wasn’t convinced.

Our instructor giving the demo

I stood at the end of the line, as one by one each of the ladies took their turn climbing up the two-story, rickety ladder to the thin, swaying platform perched in mid-air above the net. Each followed instruction, faced their own butterflies, grabbed the trapeze bar and jumped off the platform.  They swung and flipping like seasoned pros, their faces flush with exhilaration as they climbed down off the net.

Suddenly it was my turn.

The instructor was motioning me toward the ladder and it was too late to back out now.  The rest of this experience was an out-of-body one. One where I watched myself, as if in a dream from above.  One where I was no longer in control of my fear, or emotion, or even my physical reactions. I could feel my hands grasp rung after rung on the ladder, looking only at them directly in front of my face. Not down, not up, just dead straight ahead. I knew that to get through it, I literately had to take one second at a time.  One ladder rung at a time. Not think about what it would be like to crawl up on that platform, or then try to stand. Or the moment when I looked down two-stories and swung out over a net, holding onto a metal bar, praying my arms could hold the weight of my body. I couldn’t think about any of that, not even for an instant. Letting my mind go even one step ahead of my body would cause total panic and I knew it.

But I couldn’t breathe.

I was reaching the top of the ladder and beginning to hyperventilate.  My floating-above-self, told my actual self to use my all time favorite mantra, and from then on it’s the only thought I remember cohesively having; “I can do it, I am strong.” I said it over and over, willing myself to hoist my body onto the swinging platform, and then slowly pulling myself to standing. I was shaking uncontrollably and beginning to cry without control, tears blurring my vision, full panic attack in high gear.  My rational floating-above-self, kept trying to tell me to “get it together”, that “I could do it”, but it was past the time for rationalization. The room, which had been buzzing with happy chatter, went dead silent.

I attempted to follow my instructors directions, as he tried to quickly walk me through the steps, again assuming I’d actually go through with it. But I felt frozen, unable to move or talk or react as I looked down for the first time with my toes on the edge of the platform. Bless his heart he was so patient, encouraging my minuscule progress, but I was taking forever, still not convinced I had any intention of jumping off that ledge, and wondering how I’d gotten this far.

And then he said, “You don’t have to do this if you really can’t.  You can climb down that thin, rickety ladder and take a seat.”  And suddenly I knew, there was only one way off that shaking platform. Going backward was not an option.  “I can’t” was not an option. And for the first time since I’d heard of this crazy idea, I knew I was going to find a way to make this happen.  I just had to trust my instructor, lean my whole body over the edge and fall.  And that’s when I realized my fear of heights was nothing compared to my fear of falling.

By this time I could see the second instructor making her way up the ladder from the corner of my eye, she knew the first, was in over his head trying to get me going alone.  She stood next to me releasing my death-grip on the stationary bar, looked into my eyes and said; “You can do this. I would not have let you get this far if I didn’t 100% believe you are capable. We both know it’s the only way off this platform.”

It was go time. I had no choice but to trust them, believe my arms would hold my body and just fall. I leaned over the edge, reached for the bar, let out a loud scream and let my feet slip off the edge.  And suddenly I was flying.  I held on for dear life, past the time I was supposed to drop to the net, swinging in mid-air.  I’d done it. Faced a fear so big it had physically overtaken me.  Done something I’d never imagined I’d do. I was still shaking and wiping tears away when I collapsed onto the mat, greeted by hugs from my girls.  No part of me was remotely interested in trying it again, as I watched the ladies go turn after turn trying all kinds of beautiful, graceful tricks fit for the circus.

I was content. I’d had one goal, to fall.  That was it.  Done.

I’m top left (no crazy flips for me thank you!)

Looking back on that experience I realized what a metaphor it was for my entire life. What was going on inside me was so much bigger than that physical moment. Bigger than trying something new and facing a paralyzing fear. It was the outward reaction to what my internal process goes through when I face emotional fear or life challenges.  I physically reacted the way my brain does whenever I face something difficult and terrifying. I rely on mantras and positive affirmations to get me moving forward. I keep my focus directly in front of me, taking one baby step at a time, leaving the “how can I possibly do this” of the big picture to a later time.  I at some point in the process make a concrete resolution to be victorious in the end and work toward that goal, inch by inch.

But the hardest of all, is learning to trust another human so completely that you take a risk and just go for it, leaving fear on the platform.  You just lean your whole self forward in the direction you want to go, and fall.

… And without the fall, we’d never know what it feels like to fly.

 

The trapeze artists! With my girls, The Wizards Wives

 

*Right to left: My bff Courtney Webster (Martell Webster’s wife), Lauren Hilario (wife of Nene Hilario), Bree Ariza (Trevor Ariza‘s fience), Michelle Harrington (wife of Al Harrington), Me! and April Booker (wife of Trevor Booker)

*Much love to the instructors at the Trapeze School New York in Washington DC for patiently getting me off that damn platform!

 

Sarah Centrella is the author of the book Hustle Believe Receive which teaches you how to apply the #HBRMethod to change your life and live your dream.

My Stories Single Mom Life

Yeah, That Just Happened.

Yeah, THAT just happened.

As a single mom I’ve gotta say, most of the time I feel like I’m teetering on the edge of insanity.  I’ve always got five million balls in the air and if this was juggling, then I’d say at least half of them I miss and they wind up on the floor.  I’ve come to accept it in some ways, fight against it in others. I never give myself a break because of it, but rather seem to be constantly disappointed in myself for endlessly fucking up.

But hey that’s life right?  Most moments overwhelm me and I just try to push through them so I don’t get the urge to quit, but occasionally I am so idiotic that even I crack myself up. Today was one of those days.


Because I’m a working single mom raising my kids without a support system, or extended family, I’ve had to miss all their field trips at school, and plenty of other school activities.  This always makes me feel shitty, especially when they beg to have me come, and the truth is I just can’t.  But this time I was determined.  For the girls first grade field trip to the pumpkin patch I had every intention of completing the paperwork necessary and taking a half day of work, and doing it up proper.  Riding on the bus, helping the teacher out, the whole nine yards. But of course the paperwork got lost in the shuffle of too-little-time and to-do lists, and the deadline got missed.  So today I found myself with two first graders all excited that mama was gonna come with them for the first time ever. Opps.

… I had some explaining to do.  But, I promised I would go to the pumpkin patch and hangout with them for an hour between my work meetings, and though disappointed they put on big smiles and let me walk them to class this morning.  It was also picture day, and of course I missed the deadline to turn in the paperwork for pictures, so this morning I was scrambling to fill it out in the school hallway, and proudly handed them to each teacher.  As I walked out of the school this morning, I thought: how is it that when I’m riding the line between failure and total failure, I still feel like I’m winning when I avoid total failure? I totally felt like I was winning this morning.  I smiled to myself, it might have been a scramble but I did everything I had to do.  I’d turned in the picture paperwork just in time, I had gotten the pumpkin patch directions and made sure my work calls fell on either side of that free hour.

I was holding it all together. Bravo me. 

I came home, did my work calls and headed out to the pumpkin patch to meet the girls. They greeted me with open arms and introduced me to all their friends and their friends mommies.  I felt like I was still a total loser for not actually volunteering but at least the effort was there.

Izzy and her class at the Pumpkin patch

 

Then Mira and her class…

Then I rushed to my Barre3 workout at lunch.  Rushed home for more work conference calls, went grocery shopping, was late getting the kids from their after school program, had fifteen minutes to feed them, before rushing (late) to Kanen’s football practice. When I walked Kanen to the coach to apologize for being late, he asked “Where is Kanen’s helmet?”

Barre3 obsession, lunchtime burn

Sooooo long story short. I’m walking into the house to get Kanen’s helmet and Mira says to me “Mama why are your pants on wrong side out? Why is there a tag on your butt?” I looked down for the first time all day to see the “inside” seams of my pants, as plain as day running down my leg.

…… Welcome to my life.  Don’t be jealous.  #Winning.

 

Why fix em now? P.S. decided against posting the pick of the tag on my ass.. your welcome!

 

Sarah Centrella is the author of the book Hustle Believe Receive which teaches you how to apply the #HBRMethod to change your life and live your dream.

Dating Relationships

Who Said You Should Never Drunk-Dial???

Oh right, I did. Well you should know better than to listen to me. If you were wondering if I can take  my own dating advise, I’m here to say, nope, sure can’t.

~

This is what happens when you drunk-dial the love of your life after not talking for months. In which you call him an asshole, while saying you want to live happily-ever-after, with him (this is why people shouldn’t drink, it makes you bipolar). And after he emails you that he just spoke to a customer service rep who sounded “exactly like you“, which made him miss you and send an email saying so. And after the Universe told you some pretty crazy shit which made him call you for the first time in months….

…email sent to try and correct above mentioned fuckup:
“I’m sorry I said you’re an asshole. I only partially think that’s true. I mean you are being an asshole, but I know why. And as much as I hate it, I also get it. You’re not an asshole, just being one to me. Which I probably deserve. 

Right after I read your note, the next email I read was my daily note from the “Universe” which was crazy timing to say the least. And which pretty much fucked up my head for the rest of the day. (Smh)

Realllly???

Then tonight Mira asked me why she never hears “
he’s so fluffy I’m gonna die” when I get a text message anymore. I said because I don’t really talk to Derrick (not his real name) anymore… “Sometimes grownups stop being friends.” 
And my 4-year-old says; “Mama you better talk to him or he’s not gonna like you any more, and you love ‘he’s so fluffy your gonna die’, and what letter does Derrick start with?”
And I said “D”.
And then I thought I  might wanna take back the whole asshole bit, so I can sleep at night.
So I mostly take it back. 

… *Sign… Tears  …FML

I keep wondering what you thought when you heard a voice that sounded like mine.  Hope it made you miss mine like crazy.  

Hopefully you deleted my voicemail before listening to it. I may have been inebriated and PMSing and cried all weekend because it was the first Mother’s Day I’ve ever had without my kids. And because six years ago on Mother’s Day I lost a baby. A mother with no kids. Alone on a day for Mothers.
It was fucking depressing.
And I wanted all day to hear you say “Happy Mother’s Day” to me, but knew you wouldn’t.  (asshole reasoning inserted here)
And then I wondered who you’ll say that to one day.
And then I started drinking heavily.
And watched Pretty Women twice in a row, hammered, because I thought once wasn’t pathetic enough. And because I think I’m
Cinda-fuckin-rella and that fairy-tale endings exist.

So there you have it. You drive me to drink. And believe in fairy-tales.”

I hit send at midnight.
Then regret it for the next six hours. Cringing every time I checked my email in box looking for a response.
I wake up and read this.

..

Now the Universe just thinks this shits funny and is fuckin with me.
(BTW this daily email is NEVER about love or relationships, these are the only two I’ve ever gotten on the subject, what the hell?)

For the record, as fate would have it, that “deep soulful eye contact” it’s referring to is exactly what got this whole damn thing started in the first place! The Universe knows it’s shit, for real.

Then I listened to this song 793 times in a row….

Trey Songz – Heart Attack

 

 

And then my phone rings, I see his face pop up and I stop breathing….

Sarah Centrella is the author of the book Hustle Believe Receive which teaches you how to apply the #HBRMethod to change your life and live your dream.

Follow on social media: Instagram | Twitter | Snapchat | Pinterest | YouTube |Periscope @sarahcentrella

Health & Fitness

Random Conversations with My Trainer….

Just for fun….Random conversations with my Trainer Jerymaine Beasley

Texts to setup our first orientation time:
Him: can you meet Saturday at 4:30?
Me: Sure. Wait, Sat…Oh that’s Oregon football day. 4:30’s after the game, there’s a large possibility I will be slightly, too moderately drunk. Are we gonna workout or just talk about working out? Cuz if we are actually gonna workout, I’m guessing I’m no good to you drunk..?
Him: Work out for about 7 minutes.
Me: 7 minutes are you serious? Damn idk about that. OK I’ll get my shit together. I’ll rally. I can do this.
Him: See you Friday at noon.
My trainer hates me. Not the person I want hating me.
Our first meeting: Dreaded orientation.
Him: So how long have you been unhappy about your body?
Me: Since I started watching Dr. 90210
Him: Ohhkay. Well what parts of your body would you like to “fix”.
Me: Any part that plastic surgery would address. Also any part that’s visible.
Him: Sure. OK.
Him: Anything specific you’d like to focus on?
Me: Arms, legs, abs (or lack thereof) bootie and boobies, probably to start with…
Him: I’ll just write down “chest”.
He pulls out a goals chart with 4 goals.
Him: These are the 4 goals or reasons people come to a trainer. Based on our conversations it seems like #1 is what you would like, but I’ll let you pick.
  1. Lose weight, get lean muscle
  2. Something, something
  3. Build muscle, strength training.
  4. Performance training, elite athlete acceleration.
Him: So which would you like to focus on?
Me: I think it’s pretty clear I’m here for #4.
Him: Look of shock and horror, not sure if he should laugh out loud or hide it for fear of crushing my lack of reality.
Him: Well we can work on that. Maybe we could start with #1. And work up to that?
Me: I’m kidding, you can laugh now.
Him: visible relief and a laugh (I made him laugh!)

Welcome to Sarah’s world. I’m sorry, you have no idea what you got yourself into! We’re gonna have FUN.If you in the Portland Oregon area Coach J holds a FREE boot-camp every Sat… sign up on his Facebook page and get your fitness back!

Sarah Centrella is the author of the book Hustle Believe Receive which teaches you how to apply the #HBRMethod to change your life and live your dream.

Follow on social media: Instagram | Twitter | Snapchat | Pinterest | YouTube |Periscope @sarahcentrella

My Stories

Random Conversation with a Customer Service Rep

Just for fun… Random conversation with the Direct TV phone rep, whom I called yesterday, annoyed and in a hurry trying to cancel my service.

Me: Um yes I’d like to cancel my service, please.

Him: OK can I get your account number?
Me: I don’t have it, can you use something else?
Him: Um OK. Your phone number then?
I give it.
Him: Nothings pulling up, mam
Me: I don’t know what to tell you, look again.
Him: OK let’s try your address.
I give it.
Him: No mam, nothing for that address. What’s your name again?
I give it, annoyed as hell. How hard can this be, seriously?
Him: Nothing, I’ve tried everything. Are you sure you have an account with us?
Me: Of course I have an account with you!!! Why else would I be calling you?
Him: You know you called Direct TV right?
Me: Obviously. My god! I HAVE an account with you, have had it for over a year!
Him: OK, well your gonna need to find your account number.
Me: Oh. My. God!!! Fine hold on a minute.
Me: (silence)
Him: Mam you still there?
Me: Uhmmm yeah… looks like it might be with Dish Network, sorry bout that. 
Him: click.

 

 

Sarah Centrella is the author of the book Hustle Believe Receive which teaches you how to apply the #HBRMethod to change your life and live your dream.

Follow on social media: Instagram | Twitter | Snapchat | Pinterest | YouTube |Periscope @sarahcentrella

My Stories

Awesome Things My Kids Say.

In the category “Random Awesomeness” comes some random conversations that I just love with my kidos. Mira and Izzy are identical twin girls and are 4 years old. Kanen is my very mature 8 year old son.

~Kanen while shopping at Costco: Mama can you buy me this Lego set?
Mama: No way! It’s $45.00!
Kanen: How do you know that?
Mama: Because it says so on the sign.
Kanen: Oh. Curse you little sign!

Mira talking to her sister while listening to Katie Parry’s Last Friday Night in the car: OMG!!  She had MANGOS in her pool!!!! Izzy: I KNOW and she smells like a candy bar!!!”

·        ~Leaving WINCO Foods (grocery shopping)~
Izzy: Mamma I had a dream that we went shopping, and I said ‘mama can I buy something?’ and you said ‘sure darling!’ …. And then I woke up.
Mamma: (laughing) Yep! Sounds about right.
(I never buy my kids’ stuff at the store, unless we go to a store to buy them stuff).

~Mira to me: I love you mama, but you should REALLY shave your legs!

~Mira in the car going to pick up my son: Why is the light GREEN but none of the cars are driving?? Izzy: Cuz their all texting their phones!

~Izzy at the farmers market walking past the live band: 
If I hear this music, it’s gonna make me HAVE to dance!

·        ~Mira making coffee for me this morning:
Me: Oh goodness I’m so sore from working out with my trainer yesterday
Mira: That’s good mama!
Me: Why’s that my love?
Mira: Cuz if you’re not sore it means you’re not working hard enough and you’re NOT healthy.
Me: Good point.

 

·        ~While driving in the car (Izzy is scared out of her mind of the Easter bunny)~
Kanen to Izzy: You know there’s no Easter bunny right?
Me: Kanen! You don’t know that!
Kanen: YES I do!
Me: How do you know that for a fact?
Kanen: Because when we were at Target buying Easter candy and baskets you said “close your eyes and pretend there’s an Easter Bunny”.
Me: Damn.

~Sunday morning me still in bed waking up: 

Miramama
if you come downstairs and put on my movie I will snuggle you” 
Me:
what! your bribing me with snuggles? Can I just have a morning hug n
kiss?” 
Mira: Mamma I said: if you put my movie on I will give you a
snuggle, I wont give you anything if you don’t”. 
Where does she learn this
negation style? damit.

Sarah Centrella is the author of the book Hustle Believe Receive which teaches you how to apply the #HBRMethod to change your life and live your dream.

Follow on social media: Instagram | Twitter | Snapchat | Pinterest | YouTube |Periscope @sarahcentrella

Dating My Stories

A Little About Me…

..

-I’m a mama first, everything else second.

-If there’s music playing I find it impossible not to move my hips….

-I’m a corporate business women by day, a workout queen at lunch, a mama till the kids are happily asleep, and then I’m cozied up with a book and a glass of wine!

-I’m confident, strong, funny as hell, I love to play around, sarcastic a lot, I’m passionate, determined, loyal, kind and loving…..

-I can make a killer (from scratch) low-fat chocolate cake….

-I’m the best kind of girl, I look high maintenance but I can be ready and out the door lookin’ hot in 10 min flat!…

-I can’t live without: stilettos, hip-hop, Starbucks, red wine, a kitchen, my laptop for writing, my phone, moisturizer, carbs and the SUN!

-I think yoga pants are only for acutely doing yoga, I think heals are sexy even on a Monday….

 

that’s my team!

-I think NYC is the greatest city in the world.

-I think I can make a better martini than most.

-I like driving in the country on a sunny Sunday…

-I think cooking a meal for or with someone is a gesture of love, and I think you’d love my cooking!

-Country music makes me want to leap from tall buildings, w/o a shoot, and leave a note in my wake.

-I think a bunch of tulips would kick the ass of a dozen roses any day (just an fyi)….

-I think the Ducks the best team in college football (stop hatin!)

-I dream of one day driving through the Italian countryside with a bad map, my trusty camera, drinking wine from the bottle…..

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