|Coming back form our monthly visit in DC this weekend|
It feels good to be off the roller-coaster. A broken heart can really knock the wind out of you. Can sweep you under the rug and knock you sideways. It makes you sick to your stomach on a daily basis. Makes you think your seriously losing your mind. It seems like I felt that way ever since the day I met him over a year ago… amazing and tragically sad the entire time. And in the end, emotionally depleting and crushing.
After months of working through it, I vowed that if I ever felt “better” I’d promise to only love myself for the foreseeable future. No more roller- coaster. No more waiting for a call or a text or a promise that will never be fulfilled. No more love.
I didn’t think I’d ever actually “feel better”. But recently I realized that I finally do. I can finally go a day or even two without thinking about him. Or missing him, that’s huge. And that’s the healing I’ve been waiting for.
It’s funny how when some things end others step up to fill that void, but in a different way, and that’s what I’ve discovered has slowly been happening all along.
A year ago I made a post on my vision board that I wanted to build stronger friendships with my girlfriends, work on those relationships for a change. And then from no where, came just that friendship. When I wasn’t expecting it, and from the most unlikely direction, and it has changed me in so many amazing ways. It seems like the past four years I’d lost everyone close to me, brothers, sisters, parents, family, old friends, new friends…. so many people who just couldn’t or didn’t want to make this journey with me. I’d gotten more closed off with each exit, and less and less attached to anyone but my kids as the yeas past. And then she came into my life and cracked me up, and reminded me I can still laugh like crazy, and be stupid, and be myself, both the good and the bad… and she reminded me what it feels like to have a sister, and a family. I feel so blessed and grateful that I could let go of something so painful on one hand, and open myself up to something even more amazing on the other.
And it feels fucking great to be off the emotional roller-coaster of love let me tell you! No plans to hop back on any time soon!!!
So here’s to true friends who support you, stand by you, and love you through the good and bad. Here’s to choosing your family.
P.S. For those of you reading my post to learn more about how the Law of Attraction works, and what a manifestation looks like, the above is a perfect example. But here’s one more: I’ve loved and wanted to move to Washington DC for years, but it’s obviously a difficult thing to do with three small kids. So what would be the next best thing if your the universe granting wishes??? Put me there once a month to enjoy it and the bestie, but still get to come home to my family.