Are Men Capable of Fidelity?

For real…

I’m asking a serious question here because I honestly am not sure they are. Yes, yes women cheat too. I know this. But as a rule, I have more than enough personal proof from the case studies I’ve done (aka dating) the past year and a half to show that all kinds of men, cheat. Most without even being apologetic about it.

The number of men in the last year or so who have been in a relationship yet still tried to date me is astonishing. In some cases they actually came out and told me they had a girl, (yet still tried to pursue me), but in most they just put themselves out there as single.

At least the first category I can half respect.

Those are the straight up tools that are simply looking for action on the side and I give them props for their honesty, though I would never consider their advances.

But the second category….I mean what are they thinking?

What is the point in starting multiple relationships with multiple women? Who has the mind space for that craziness? I know I wouldn’t, it would literally drive me insane. But over and over again, I seem to meet a “nice” guy who I will eventually discover has a “full time girl”. It’s the same story EVERY-time! I could write a script for how it will go down at this point! She will find my number in his phone and call me crying. I will tell her everything she wants to know. I will cut him out of my life, and loose yet another friend. Because regardless of the nature of our “relationship” the friendship aspect is always there and is what’s important and attractive to me.

Or maybe he’ll finally man up and be honest, at which point I’m faced with the decision of, should I tell her?

And always I’m the bad guy. This is the part I can’t understand. He never takes responsibility for his actions. Or his role in the situation. Never apologizes. Just turns from a friend and someone who I had learned to count on in my life, to an overnight psycho, angry at me. This was the case with my ex-husband, who to this day is still angry at ME for him cheating. Go figure!

Seriously what is wrong with these guys? Do they honestly think that in life you can have your cake and eat it too? That there are no consequences for the actions you take? That they are somehow above the rules and that hurting the people closest to them is a risk worth taking?

If I had a man I loved and one who loved me back, I would NEVER consider taking that risk. Never. But maybe that’s the difference. Maybe there are people who are born with a conscience and those who are not.

Regardless….”Don’t look for happiness, or you will not find it” –Eckhart Tolle.

 

 

Written by Sarah Centrella

2 Comments

  • Anonymous
    July 7, 2011 - 11:58 pm | Permalink

    I understand the frustration and where you are coming from with this but I can say that absolutely there are many men who are faithful to their spouses. Why aren’t you running into them? Perhaps because they are at home with their families and not out trying to date you. The guys who are out dating will of course tend to be players, and the guys who are not players will tend to not be out dating (even a lot of the single guys won’t be out there).

    I admire the way that you deal with infidelity when you see it – too often women put up with behavior like that and assume that if the guy ends up with them then it’ll all be good, but of course they will be cheated on too at some point.

    One other perspective that kind of struck me as funny/interesting – doesn’t this kind of thinking go against the Law of Attraction? I don’t know lots about the LOA but doesn’t the belief that men are incapable of fidelity kind of limit you to only meeting men who are players?

    Don’t get jaded by what you are seeing on the dating scene. You are beautiful and have a lot going for you, and you will find someone that you can trust. You will probably not find him when looking for him though.

    A man who IS faithful

  • July 8, 2011 - 12:27 am | Permalink

    Yes very true. This post is about a year old and was definately written with a little frusteration! LOL And clearly there are many men AND women who are faithful. To your point about the Law of Attraction your right! I recognized about the time this post was written that you draw certian people into your life, so I amended the type of people I now draw into my life, that has a big part to do with it for sure. I still dont like dating, but that issue doesnt come up like it did. I beleive there are amazing guys our there who can be devoted to one women, and then there is a big majority who never will, it’s just not in their DNA and if that’s the case that’s on them, but it’s NOT for me so I steer clear! Good feedback 🙂

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