Tonight is bitter sweet for sure. It’s the last night the kids and I will spend in Oregon, tomorrow morning the movers come to take us on our new adventure. It’s been such a crazy couple of months that the reality of it all has been slow to sink in, but tonight I feel it.
I sit here and reflect on the years I’ve spent in this town (Portland)…
- I was married here at The Old Church in downtown on a beautiful June evening in 2000. We danced the night away at The Governor Hotel grand ballroom in front of all our family and friends.
- In the winter of 2003 we drove cautiously home from Good Sam hospital in NW to our adorable little row house with our most precious cargo, my son Kanen.
- In 2004 we took that pivotal step in any young couples life and bought our first home. In a shitty-ass part of town, but we knew it had potential. We knew it was beautiful under the lawyers of crap. And it was.
- In 2006 we sold it for a nice little profit and got the nicer home in the nicer area.. we were ready to grow our family and plant roots.
- A few months later, heartbreak when we lost our baby when I was 6 months pregnant.
- Good always follows bad and a few months later we got the crazy/happy news our twins where on the way!
- In the winter of 2007 life began to unravel. We lost the house, I could no longer work. We tried to fit into a smaller, crowded life but hope began shrinking. In June the twins arrived healthy and amazing.
- 2008 the shit hit the fan.
- 2009 saw the rebirth of me. Saw the light I’d been hiding for so many years, saw the emergence of hope, drive, dedication, passion and sheer will power.
- 2010 was an amazing year, full of firsts on so many levels. The first time in my life I’d loved a career, first time I’d traveled in years, and the first time I felt proud of myself on all fronts in maybe…forever.
- 2011… well, you already know it’s roller-coaster story!
So that brings me to tonight. The ending of a major chapter in my life, and the launching of something brand new. Though there is certainly many things about Portland I will miss, I’m so looking forward to this final symbolic yet literal step from the past into the future. This is me moving forward. Leaving the ghosts behind.
A new dawn.
A new chance.
A new life.
A clean slate.
I’m ready. I feel overwhelmingly blessed as I look to what our future holds and look back at the road I’ve traveled to get here.
I’ve posted the good, the bad and the ugly on this blog for one reason… So that I NEVER FORGET who I am and where I came from. I want to always carry with me the struggle, the pain and the failures because they are what fuel my motivation and make me the women I am becoming. Without that I would be nothing. I would feel nothing. I wouldn’t know the meaning of gratitude when your face down in a pile of shit. I wouldn’t understand what it takes to fight, and that I am capable of more than I ever imagined. I wouldn’t know that I can control and shape the direction of my life.
So on that note, I’m including the video I shot this summer while living in the hotel when I was unemployed and our house had flooded. Watching this tonight, reminds me that ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE TO ANYONE WHO: a) BELIEVES b) WORKS THEIR BUTT OFF!!
HUSTLE. BELIEVE. RECEIVE.