A letter to my future husband.
Because I believe in the power of intention, and the power of knowing exactly what you want, I’ve decided to, on faith, write this letter… knowing that when the time is right (even if I’m 90!) this is what will manifest in my life, and this is what I’ll say to him when it does.
These are just a few things that makes me know, you were created for me, and I for you. I am grateful every day that God has brought you into my life and I promise to never forget how lucky we are to have found each other.
I love the spark in your eyes. The immediate and undeniable connection. I love the kindness that radiates from them. I love that your soul is not only generous, but truly selfless. To you my babies are the best part of me. They are not “what came with me” they are me. The package of us, completes you. The package of us, is what you’ve been searching for, it’s what your life was lacking.
I love that you’re tall enough, that when I’m bare-foot I need to stand on my tip toes to kiss your neck. I love the way you smell, sweet, yet manly. A musk that is distinctly you.
When you look at me, the world stops moving, and I can’t breathe. When your eyes are on me, my heart races. I feel dizzy, with a lump of emotion in my throat that makes me want to cry and throw up… (but in a good way!) That unexplainable physical reaction to having such raw emotion so close to the surface. That much love, desire, and passion.
What I see in your eyes is my own potential. My own bottomless ability to love without condition, reservation or fear. What I see is the true me. The person I’ve hidden under so many layers and scars and masks. What I see is just me, clean and pure, whole. I see happiness. I see joy. When I look at you, I see peace. Safety, home, comfort., loyalty. I see unconditional love. Uncontrollable desire. I see the head of our home. The leader I’m not afraid to follow. The one I can trust. Be myself around, let my walls crumble for.
You are steady when I’m erratic. You are calm, yet decisive. Your decisions are good, rational and reliable. Your passion comes from the core of your bones, it radiates everything you touch. I love that you live, and walk, and act with purpose and integrity. You are not content with how things are, but strive to get the most from yourself, and from the world around you.
I love the way you make me laugh, often and for no reason at all. You make my whole being smile. You are chivalrous and charming, you think of others before yourself. You can cook, open the door for me, can pay the tab. You know my favorite drink and are not afraid to order it. You send flowers, write cards, you dance with me. You are always full of compliments, not because you HAVE to but because you can’t help it.
When I’m with you, I feel myself shine. When you’re with me I can see it’s your mission to make sure I do. You see me, for who I truly am. You read me, even when I don’t want to be read. You’re man enough to call me on my shit (which few people can!), but gentle enough to do it in a way that I’ll listen. You love the parts of me that drive my passion; you support and believe in them, and me.
You hold my hand in public. You are big and strong, but gentle. You hear me. You don’t just listen, you actually hear me. You respond, you never ignore or disrespect me. You challenge my thinking, but know when to give in. You make me the very best version of myself, because you’ve seen it all along. You’re patient with my faults, and fears. You stand by me, defend me, and always have my back. Your my protector, my partner, the other (smarter, more successful, calmer) half of me.
You’re an amazing father. You put family first. Marriage, love and family mean more to you than anything, you fight to keep those bonds strong. You appreciate all I do for you, you say so. You notice it, and allow it to make you feel loved. You are driven, successful, active, and so very worth the wait.
For all these reasons and so many more, I can give my heart freely to you. Thank you for being so incredibly worth the wait.
I know you’re out there somewhere…. And I know when the time is right you will find me, and when we stand up in front of the people we love most in the world, I’ll read you this letter. And I’ll be so glad I knew what to look for, so that I didn’t let you slip away. And I’ll be so grateful that I didn’t settle for all the jerks before you who were none of these things. This is my intention, I’m setting it free.