Long live love.
I’ve always said, and it’s posted on my wall at work “if you don’t know what you want, how would you
recognize it when you’ve got it?” It’s been more than a motto to me, it’s been the way I’ve created my new life, with intention and purpose, and total deliberation. I’ve taken the time to examine in detail what I want in every category of my life the past few years, and I am constantly blown away by how accurately it’s manifested in my life.
Love is no exception. It started with a blog entry that I posted in March of 2010, called “What I Want”. I knew I needed that wish to go out into the Universe if I expected to draw it to me. So I made my wish list.
The past few years love has looked much more like heartbreak. It’s chewed me up and spit me out in the most unthinkable ways. I found myself in a Groundhog Day situation, with no mater who it was that I tried to date. The same bullshit over and over. The same disrespect. The same dysfunction. The same lowering of my standards and putting up with things I knew I should not.
But I couldn’t let it go. For some reason all that mess, and all that crap and drama was comfortable to me, and leaving it all behind seemed so terrifying. It meant I’d truly have to be alone. So I clung to it, knowing it didn’t serve me.
Then as I slowly began to find that love in myself and take it away from those undeserving leaches, I began to find what I’d always looked for… peace. Stillness, acceptance and genuine personal happiness. Not given to me by anyone. Not granted to me by a man. When it comes from within you no one can give it to you, and no one can take it from you.
I began to see that when I was really ready, I didn’t need to stress about the how, or the when, I could turn that noise over to powers bigger than me, and just live. And like everyone always says, when you least expect it, he will find you.
I can’t predict the future, but I can tell you that when I re-read my post from a few months ago, A Letter to My Future Husband I cried. It’s as if I wrote it to him directly, on every count, yet I wrote it three months before I ever met him or knew he existed. But I can tell you that I knew exactly what I was waiting for, and it’s as if I wrote him into life. Like I’ve always known him because I’ve always pictured so clearly the type of man he would be. He’s all that but so much better, because he’s real. And though I want to pinch myself every day, I know that whatever the future holds the Universe answered my ultimate wish and delivered him to me. I manifested him, exactly as I’d always pictured, which let’s me know that it’s all going to be okay. I don’t have to fight it anymore. For the first time ever, there is no fear, just happiness in the moment. I can finally sit back and enjoy this much awaited blessing and look forward to whatever the future might bring.
It’s the ultimate proof to me that, anything is possible child, anything can be.
Don’t ever give up on your dream. Don’t ever settle for what you know is not right for you. Don’t ever sell yourself short. If you have a vision for any part of your life, do the work and believe it will come. Have the courage to walk away rather than chose dysfunction and unhappiness. Have the courage to trust that when you are ready, your dream will come to you. Have the faith to know you will one day live that dream, and when it comes have the good sense to be grateful for your amazing blessing.
Long live dreams.
Long live love.
Long live butterflies.