How to Get out of the Black Hole.

I get emails and messages from readers every day, who are at the low point I was at a few years ago. They feel lost and hopeless. Nothing seems to be going right in their life, and they have come across my story and it’s inspired them at least enough to share with me these thoughts and feelings. I’m so honored and humbled by this, but I also know that it’s in it’s self The Law of Attraction at work for both of us. For them because this is the defining moment when their search for better has lead them to connect to my story, and for me because telling it and answering your letters reinforces my own strength and faith. It’s definitely a 2 way growth relationship, that I’m so grateful for.


I can relate to the feeling of being buried a live, or being swallowed by a black hole of darkness and hopelessness, I felt that way for so long. I had lost all joy. I stressed 24/7 about the lack of money/food/gas/diapers, the basic necessities of life. Always wondering where rent was coming from…all of that. I’ve basically lived most of my life with those feelings and stresses consuming my thoughts. It was a vicious dark circle. I always felt like the weight of that stress was going to be the death of me, and sometimes it felt that dark.

overcoming depression
It wasn’t until my husband left in 2009 that through the pain and loss, I began to grasp the concept of “blessing in disguise” or “everything happens for a reason“.  When I was able to take a step back and really look at it, I suddenly felt a sense of empowerment and freedom. The Law of Attraction gave me that extra “it” that I so desperately needed. It gave me HOPE. I figured I had nothing to lose, I had tried it my way my whole life and I was sick of that shit! I wanted better. Better for me, for my kids.  I felt like if I could dream again, then I could get the life I had always wanted.
So step 1: Want it!
It seems too basic to even make into a bullet point, but trust me it does not go without saying. You have got to want it. You’ve got to be fed-up like I was and at the point where you are willing to want it, and willing to believe. Even if you look around and life seems super crappy. Your circumstances suck, your life seems to suck.
I don’t know if anyone has ever told you this before or not, but….whatever you WISH your life looked like, YOU can make that happen. I don’t care if that seems ridiculous right now. I don’t care if you don’t know anyone around you who’s “successful” (in all the various ways people can be, financially, socially, lifestyle, happiness) that doesn’t affect your RIGHT and your ability to make the life you want for yourself. Regardless of how helpless you feel to change, YOU CAN.
Here’s how:
If you really want to break the negative cycle, and start taking the driver seat in your life, than that’s the MOST important ingredient at this phase. YOU GOTTA WANT IT! You gotta want something better, something more. Hunger feeds determination and determination will fuel your dream which will lead to your results. So don’t be scared to really WANT IT.
I think this is hard, because when you feel you have been beaten down by the world, part of you doesn’t feel you deserve to WANT it. That you don’t deserve better than what you have. Don’t pay attention to that voice. Don’t give it the time of day! Everyone deserves to live the life they desire, especially you.
STEP 2: Begin to Dream.
What do you want?
What would make you happy if you could snap your fingers right now? And DO NOT SAY MONEY! Money is the easy cop-out answer. I want you to think very specifically.

What do you want? Like really?

In that daydream you had as a kid, what did your life look like “when you grew up”? I want you to dream (not about Things, about your LIFE).  I want you to think about the kind of person you will be in 5 years when all this has clicked and your smack dab in the middle of your dream life. Are you working? Doing what? What do you love about it? Why is it fulfilling you? What are your children doing? How old are they in our dream?  Are you taking them to Disneyland? etc…I don’t know what your dreams are but those are examples of what I need you to think about it.
As you begin to build this movie in your head, think about it day and night. Before you go to sleep, daydream about it. Start making it into the best motion picture Hollywood could produce. Make it 3D baby!  Know all the details of your dream. Picture yourself in an average day, doing average things. What do you look like then? Where have you gone? What have you done?
 Most people don’t know how to dream because it’s so discouraged in our society. We are taught to deal with our reality. Well I’m giving you 200% permission to go back to that little girl/boy who daydreamed about life, and start dreaming again. Don’t be afraid to stretch your dreams imagination….in other words go there…to the place where you push the limits and you dream the big dream!
When you’ve done this…email me and let me know how you feel and then we will move on to step 3. But take your time, think about it day and night…let it marinate 🙂 We will get you out of this and on to a better place, just believe. 🙂

Sarah Centrella is the author of the book Hustle Believe Receive which teaches you how to apply the #HBRMethod to change your life and live your dream.

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  • Anonymous
    October 25, 2011 - 1:13 am | Permalink

    Hey Sarah! I just love reading your always boost me! You’re my inspiration..

    I am practising your step 2 – to dream…yes it really feels soo good to dream big to think of your future…

    Its soo nice as if you’re truly navigating your life. I’m going through the same things you went through 3 years ago…It’s been 11mths now and of course Law of Attraction has helped me at some point in my life not to be demotivated and lost my track.

    I’ve set up my vision board and been looking at it daily when I drive to work. However, I must admit I get upset at times when I’m financially tight and I keep saying “I’m money magnet, I attract money easily etc”..and I dont see any action…

    This time around I use your article, step 2 to dream. I can see all the beautiful things happening! My daughter and I are having the happiest moments in our life. She is super duper close to me and loves me lot! I’m the
    senior Manager for my section and bosses are continuously praising my work. Oh yes,we’re living in a beautiful double storey house with a built in swimming pool for my lil one. I can see my Honda Accord (black color to be specific and plate number XXX 1010 ). I have saved up a huge amount of money for my daughter’s education. I know that she’ll get into Medicine line and that I’ve saved up enough for her college years. Wow, look at me, I’m looking super cool and slim! I’ve lost the huge weight that I’ve gained due to depression…I’m soo happy. Truly grateful to the Universe for all the things I wanted in my life!

    Sarah, please bring me to Step 3. How do I make my dream a reality? Please take me higher!

    • May 8, 2012 - 5:55 pm | Permalink

      OMG, first off I”m so sorry that it took me so long to respond to your comment, sometimes I dont get the notifications and miss them. So sorry about that.

      I’m so happy to hear about how you are taking charge of your life and changing it for the better! I love that! And it sounds to me like you are already on Step #3 it sounds like you are making that big dream your reality! I will write a blog post tonight to go more into detail about this and put the link in this post for you to follow, but it sounds like you are well on your way! Remember manifestations can be small too, and also can come in “different packaging” then you might be expecting. So always be aware and count your blessings because when you do, I bet you will realize you had more then the last time you counted… 🙂

  • Anonymous
    May 8, 2012 - 5:41 pm | Permalink

    I was reading the comment from anonymous and I am trying to do the same. Sarah it is helpful and I think I speak for most people when I say that we would love to hear stories of some of your successes. For me what motivates me is when someone accomplishes something from the Law of Attraction we are desperate to find out how how how in detail did you do it.I would love to hear specific times where there was something you were trying to manifest and you accomplished it and what you did to accomplish it and maybe I could learn from it and stay motivated.And what you did when you had moments of doubt,how did you get yourself on track.Keep the stories coming because it gives hope to the ones that are struggling. LUV YA KIM

    • May 8, 2012 - 5:50 pm | Permalink

      Hi Kim, thanks so much for your comment. I totally agree with you, I think examples are the best way to prove that this really does work, and that you DONT have to be rich to see results! I have many specific examples here on the blog, they are under the Topic Label “Manifest This” click that link on the right side of my blog under the topics and read those posts. I give clear examples on what it was that was manifested and how long it took, and what the signs where that I paid attention to before and after I manifested it. Also check out my YouTube videos (Link to my channel on the right side of my blog too) Under the video List “Law of Attraction” there you will find videos of those experiences manifesting live 🙂 I hope all of that gives you lots of hope and helps you BELIEVE 🙂

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