Attracting My Soulmate.

I’ve just finished reading the most amazing book! The Soulmate Secret by Arielle Ford. Having made a commitment to myself at the start of the year to be my best possible self, and have my best year ever in 2014, I decided to do the work necessary to use the #HBRMethod to attract my soulmate.

Waiting for my flight ..

I had so many breakthroughs as I turned the pages of this truly inspiring, easy to understand guide to finding my beloved.  The first was when I realized that I’d been attracting the same kind of man over and over again, because deep-down I didn’t believe myself to be worthy or lovable. That was a new revaluation to me. I’d always been a woman who had self-confidence, but when I pealed away the surface I could see the core reason I kept bringing the wrong type of men into my life.

The first thing I did was write out a list of all the reasons I could think of that I was blocking true love in my life.  I’ve had never written a “negative” list before because I didn’t want to give those words life.  However I realized that by avoiding it, I was also avoiding the raw truth that was exposed in “admitting” them.  I began, and instead of writing out “I am unlovable” for example, I wrote out a list of 20-30 items that read “I let go of the belief that I am unlovable”.  As I wrote this list I felt nothing.  It bothered me that I could write a list of things so deep and raw and “new” to me, yet feel no emotion attached to any of them, but I kept writing.


Arielle asked the question in the beginning of the book if the reader was holding on to any past lovers who could unknowingly be blocking true love.  And so at the end of my list I wrote the names of the men whom I’ve dated the past five years, who have been difficult to let go of, for one reason or another.  I wrote: “I let go of so-and-so, knowing that he was not my soulmate”.  This section was harder to write. Yet still I was surprisingly composed for such a spiritual and cleansing exercises.

And then I stood in front of my bathroom mirror and read my list out loud to myself with candles burning, and looked myself in the eye as I let go of all my blockers to love. And as I did so, tears fell hard and fast down my cheeks and onto my handwritten words.  When I got to the names of each of my ex’s I cried more still, and hardest on the name of the one still closest to my heart. But I let it out, and let it go.  I then lit the paper on fire, held it over the toilet, watched it burn and flushed the ashes.  I can’t adequately put into words the feeling of peace and relief that flowed through me as I finished this ceremony.  All the pain, and bitterness left my body, and peace took it’s place.

That was the first amazing breakthrough.

Then the second major aha moment came today as I finished the book on a flight from Orange County Ca, back to Portland.  I looked over the list I’d created of my perfect soulmate, a list so detailed with every possible trait and characteristic I could dream of represented.  All except one….”available. Emotionally (able and ready to be in a committed loving relationship), physically (aka single), and locationally (not long distance) available.”

And then the wammy hit me like a frying pan to the back of the head.  It so diverted my attention that I began feverishly writing in the books margins, even as the captain was letting us know the plane was relying on auto-pilot to land in the intense fog (something that normally would have stopped me in my tracks and caused me to freak out!). I began writing the names of the six men I’d dated the past five years, and a list of what I’d been attracted to in each.  When I finished, my list matched exactly to my perfect soulmate list! These six men together made up the ideal man I was looking for.  Yet all five lacked one thing in common… not one of them was or had been available.

I was stunned.  I looked over the list again…
1. Mr. “heartbreak” was an excellent communicator, we had that soulful connection, he was passionate about his work, loyal, family focused, loving and so kind.
2. Mr. “power” had stability, safety, power, success, money, brains.
3. Mr. “Attraction” shared my same mindset and beliefs on the law of attraction, self-improvement, and reading.  He had the most amazing body, was sexy beyond belief, and we shared amazing chemistry.  And he loved to dance, cook and loved football.
4. Mr “big” was tall like I wanted, loved my kids and my kids loved him.
5. Mr. “Smooth” knew how to tell me everything I wanted to hear in a way I needed to hear it. He flattered, and his eyes lit-up when he saw me, his love for me was true and undeniable.
6. Mr. “friend” was the best conversationalist I’d ever known, and shared my intense passion for travel and the finer things in life.

As I looked over my list of the men who’d impacted my life the last five years I realized that I was attracting attributes from my list (each of those item descriptions was on my original list), but I’d failed to ask that they be “available for a relationship.” And each of them I tried to make fit the mold. I tried to make “Mr. Power, be Mr. Attraction” or vs.  I knew non of them were the complete package yet I tried to force something I knew would not work. Suddenly I realized that I no longer needed to force anything, that if I’d already manifested parts of him, that I could absolutely manifest the whole him. I sat back and braced in my seat for our rough landing, looking over my writing in the margins… and I knew.  He is out there, he is writing lists and making mental or physical vision boards to attract me to him. When our time is perfect the Universe will have us collide in some cosmically beautiful way, and knowing that is all I need.

I can now relax and love the life I’ve created for myself and my kids, I can love and cherish myself and all that I’ve become over the past five years.  And when our eyes meet for the first time, we both will know…..

And so it is.

Love this, from my Pinterest Love board




  • March 24, 2014 - 10:23 am | Permalink

    Love that book! Already I did my soul mate list, painted few mandalas (by the way, mandala paintings became my new hobby!!!) and repeat a prayer…. I know and I believe this works 🙂

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