Sarah’s Thoughts: Get The Job You Want!

Posted on by Sarah Centrella Posted in Your Life Coach — 3 Comments ↓

Summary of Readers Question:
Reader is a young black man living in the south and has had difficulty finding a job, based in large part he feels to open or subtle racism. How do I overcome this obstacle to get a job? How do I nail the interview? What should I do to prepare?
Male, Arkansas 

Thank you for your question, and I can certainly relate to some degree. Although clearly I am not a black man in the south I was a single-mom of one-year old twin babies and a 5 year old when I was last searching for work in a down economy. I remember thinking, no one will hire me! Hell I wouldn’t of hired me! A single mom with 3 very young kids, is a recipe for disaster! What happens when they are sick, or I needed to travel? I thought it would be something I might not be able to overcome.

But as a matter of survival I needed a job! And I needed a good one because daycare for 3 small kids is equal to many people’s entire salary. So I knew I just had to sell myself harder than anyone else. They needed to LOVE me and know that there is no one else on earth that will do the job with as much passion, determination and get results like me.

Step 1. Failure is not an option. You WILL get a job, period. Change your mind set to that and believe it. When you actually believe that it will happen that will relieve a ton of immediate pressure which will allow you to focus and stay calm throughout the interview process.

Step 2. Your Resume! Because the last 2 years I have spent in a hiring role, I know how critical a piece this is. It’s the thing that either gets you noticed or gets recycled. If you don’t already have one, Google many examples of resumes and go to work building a stellar one. It’s ok to use “fancy” language to spice up what your responsibilities are, but they do need to be based in fact and need to reflect what the actual terminology is for that specific field. Try to list out your responsibilities as best you can in one sentence for each one. Each job should have at least 5 of those bullet points. It should be clean, neat with all the basic required info. No more then 3-4 jobs listed, gaps in employment should be stated with a reason, it shouldn’t be more than 2 pages long, be sure to provide 3 references, (this will save a stall in the process when they are ready to check your references). Be sure to include your email, cell and Linkedin URL.

Step 3. LinkedIn Profile. If you don’t have one of these, set it up! This tool is used by employers to recruit and will be the first thing they do a search for when they have your name, (and of course they will Google you too, so be sure your online presence is ready). Make your profile as complete as possible and be sure to put your picture on it. It’s basically an online version of your resume, so employers will look to be sure all the info matches up.

Step 4. Get the interview! Be tenacious! When you have found the job you want, apply send your resume and follow up. There’s a fine line between being persistent and a stalker so tread somewhat carefully. But every job I’ve ever loved I was a little on the stalker side! I never gave up until they gave me the job! Get the contact information of hiring manager and send a short intro email (no more then 1-2 very short paragraphs), a few sentences expressing your interest in the position. Appropriate follow up is twice a week, one in email, one in voicemail.

Step 5. Nail the interview! When you drive into the parking lot, start envisioning this as your new job. It’s a month or a year from now, and this will be the place you park every day. When you walk into the building and wait at reception for your interview do the same thing. My trick is I have always envisioned myself walking into work, running a little late, traffic was bad, coffee in hand looking a hot mess. Just walking through the doors like that, like it was any day at work. Then I take it in and determine if I could do that there, if that is the right place for me. If it is I go in and make them love me! I am cool calm and collected but friendly and on my toes. I’ve spent the time visioning what it will be like on an ordinary day to have this job, and I want it!

  • Come prepared. Make sure you researched the company first, come with a note pad and a list of 4-5 questions. Always be prepared to ask questions!
  • Dress the part. It’s always better to be over dressed for an interview then under dressed, always.
  • Make Eye contact throughout the process.
  • Have a good strong hand shake.
  • Sit up straight. Sounds stupid, but believe me the employer is looking at every little mannerism. Give them reasons to only say good things when you leave.
  • Do research on who is going to interview you. Google them, look them up on LinkedIn.
  • Then follow up! Send a hand written note to the person who interviewed you. Do the twice a week follow up until they either give you the job or tell you that you were not selected. In your voice mail and email follow up’s be sure to show your enthusiasm for the position and for what you will bring to it.

5. Believe that the job is yours. Continue to vision yourself working there. Don’t doubt yourself or that belief. Just go full speed ahead as if it’s yours already.

You will get the job that is right for you. And though race does likely play a role in your search, don’t let it! Be the man they want to hire. Make them love you, be clear about what you bring to the table. And don’t let ANYTHING stop you from achieving your dreams. Good Luck!

~Written by Sarah Centrella for Thoughts.Stories.Life.

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Sarah’s Thoughts: Can The Secret Save My Relationship?

Posted on by Sarah Centrella Posted in Dating — 2 Comments ↓

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Reader Question Summary:
She is 30 and in love with a younger man. She is Hindu and he is Christian, she is under great pressure from her family to be married but not to him. He used to be sweet and amazing to her but over the past few years is distant and cold. They fight a lot. He doesn’t want to marry her, but she wants to marry and have a family with him and with her families blessing. They have been together 4 years and she is still very much in love with him. Her question is will The Secret make all of this happen for me?
~Female, India
Thank you so much for trusting me with your story and sharing it with me I know it must be difficult to put all of that into words. Please understand that my advice and response will be what my gut tells me based on what you have relayed to me about your situation. You did a really good job of laying out how your relationship has changed and what the pressure is that you feel from your family, your religious pleasures and cultural expectations. Though our cultures might be different, the story of love, family and heartache is the
same across the world.
In answer to your first question “will the secret work for me?” my response is ABSOLUTELY. But to your second question “will it make my boyfriend love me the way I love him? Will we get married and have a family? Will our relationship improve? And will our families accept our relationship and bless it?” my answer is probably not. I know that’s not what you want to hear right now. But if you can let that digest for a little bit, then this is how we can get through this together and how The Secret will help get you through it and be better off in the end.

I am going to give you some bad news here. But bear with me, I’ll also give you some good news, so my only hope is that you read this with an open mind and open heart, even the difficult parts.

First, The Secret is NOT magic.

I take issue with many people out there that believe all you have to do is wish for something and it will come true. I don’t believe that. I believe that what it does do, is give us FAITH that God/The Universe/Life (whatever we choose to call it), has our best interest at heart and WILL bring us WHAT WE NEED. That is much different than giving us what we WANT.

Right now you want your boyfriend to love you the way that you love him. But he won’t. He won’t wake up one day and decide it’s time to be nice to you again like he was in the beginning. He won’t decide that if you love him more, or are more perfect that suddenly you will BE perfect in his eyes. He has made his decision in his mind that the two of you getting married is not what he wants. Once a person decides in their mind (for whatever reason) that they are going to mentally check-out of the relationship and turn to treating you poorly as a result, they are trying to find the appropriate way to leave. His heart has grown cold, and no amount of loving him will turn that around. It’s one of the strange things in life that makes no sense, the more you love him, want to be with him, call him, the less he wants to be with you.  The good news is that you are not married to him. Even though you love him very deeply, you can walk away from this relationship without destroying a marriage or putting children through a divorce.
That was the bad news.
And having been through much heartache and a failed marriage to someone I thought was the love of my life and who I was with for 16 years, I know how difficult it is to hear that. But if I can assure you in some magical way that everything truly will be OK, and infuse you with the faintest amount of hope, then I know without question that you will be better off.
So the good news….
The good news is that you want true love and a family. It seems like you believe it  would be a better situation with your family and your culture if that love was someone who shared your religious beliefs and came from the same background as you.

I say this is the good news, because this is the BIG Picture. The Secret or The Law of Attraction works with the Big picture. Right now you are just focused on him being the answer to all of your questions. But if you can open your mind and heart to what you really need and want out of life, it’s to be happy, be in love, have a family, and make your parents and brother happy, then The Secret can start working for you.

All of those things are possible.

For it to work you need to focus your attention there, not on your boyfriend. Because the universe will go to work to grant that wish, and you need to be open to receive it when it comes and realize that it knows what’s best for you even if you might not. So if those are your big picture wishes it will change things in your life to grant them for you. One of those things might be give you the strength to move on from your relationship, so that you will have room in your heart and life for the man that you are meant to be with.

If what you begin shifting all of you mental attention to is YOU and NOT HIM, then you will begin to slowly gain your self-confidence back. Right now you are spending the majority of your time and attention on him, and the relationship is not good so your thoughts are constantly focusing on the wrong things, and bringing you more of the same. It’s a vicious cycle.  You need to be ok with the possibility that he is NOT what is best for you and that there is something better and more perfect for you. I know that in your culture an unmarried woman of 30 is a very big concern so you feel that if you don’t marry him, you may never marry. But it’s better honestly to be alone and happy then with someone who mistreats you and does not love you the way that you love them.

This is where faith comes in.

This is where you need to BELIEVE.

Even if it’s the tiniest strand of belief you have got to take that leap of faith and trust The Secret (or whatever) that what is RIGHT for you will come. It might not come tomorrow or next year, but if you slowly start to change your attitude and mindset to focus on things that make you happy and TRUST that it will all work out in the end, then it will. It really is that simple. It will relive sooooo much stress from your life if you can do this. Let go of the worry of how it will happen or who it will happen with and just BE. Start surrounding yourself with things and experiences that YOU like and that make you happy and slowly you well BE happy. And you will of reversed the negative cycle and created a brand new positive one by which good things can begin coming into your life.

In my opinion you  need to let him go. It will be painful to the point of feeling unbearable, but after a few months it DOES get better. And you will get stronger. And before you know it you will be happy again and it will be your own happiness not dependent upon another person.
My advice would be take My Challenge, make a Vision Board. Map out what you want your life to look like, what would make you happy and start focusing on that. Walk through those steps and try to let go and believe. You will begin to see positive changes I can promise you. And it will work out in the end. It will and you will be happier and stronger!
Good luck to you on your journey and please keep me posted.

Sarah Centrella is the author of the book Hustle Believe Receive which teaches you how to apply the #HBRMethod to change your life and live your dream.

Follow on social media: Instagram | Twitter | Snapchat | Pinterest | YouTube |Periscope @sarahcentrella

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How Do I Reinvent My Life To Get What I Want?

Posted on by Sarah Centrella Posted in Motivation & Inspiration — 6 Comments ↓

Reader Question:
“I’ve recently gone through a rough break-up and I guess everything happens for a reason, and I think the reason this happened is because I need to get my life back on track and find a rewarding long-term career. I read your blog and know you have gone through a similar situation. How the heck did you do it??”
~Male, Washington DC

Thanks for reaching out, believe me I know where you are coming from. It’s a difficult place to be in, starting over or trying to define what it is you need to change in your life to have the life you want. But here is basically what I did when I was at my lowest point, when I figured I had nothing to loose so why not give in to hope.

Write it down…

Step 1. I wrote it down.
For me, I took the time to write down what it was that I wanted to change about my life in specific detail, I laid out my goals. But the twist was that I wrote down what I wanted my life to be, and not the things I didn’t like currently or wanted to change. It’s a little twist but it’s a critical one to make. I believe that what we think, affects what we say, which affects what we believe. Our beliefs, good or bad is what determines our outcomes, so they are pretty darn powerful! So with that in mind I didn’t want to think, write or say anything that was negative. And focusing on what I wanted to change has a negative association, where focusing on what I want and what my goals are has a positive one. I hope that makes sense. It’s a subtle difference, but really a critical one.

For example: If one of my goals, or areas of improvement is “Be successful at work”, instead of writing this on my list which is not only incredibly vague but also negative, because it assumes I’m NOT currently successful at work (or capable of being successful).
I instead would really ask myself the tough questions…
What would make me successful?
What do I need to do?
How do I go about it?
What are the steps I need to take?
But most importantly if I was in a dream/perfect world what would ULTIMATE success look like?
What would it feel like?
Why is it important to me, and what would it FEEL like once I AM “successful”? Get very granular with it. So when I’m “successful” does it mean I get to go on vacation? If so where? ect….list it all out.

For you because you are questioning your career path or wanting to maybe redefine that specific area, I would start from the top. I mean THE TOP. Picture yourself in your DREAM job, the one you don’t even really let your mind day-dream on, because it makes you feel selfish and idiotic to dream that big. The one you’d be embarrassed to tell your friends for fear of the reaction “wait! what?? you want to be what??”. Write that down. Then work backwards from there. If it requires schooling, put that plan in motion. If it can be done quicker but harder without it, maybe make a plan around that route. But say that goal out loud, write it down, until you believe it and are excited about it. Then start telling people what you want to do. Those thoughts, and words will turn into actions which will lead to results.

I did this for every area of my life. Many of my personal lists you’ll actually find in my early blog entries! I went through the categories in my life, and reinvented them. Love life, health, relationships, family, parenting, all of it.

Vision Boards are Key!

When I was done I literally had the blueprint to my own success, and you will too. I realized for the first time that it really was as simple as that. Knowing exactly down to the details what it is I wanted. Of course that changes over time, but those core questions you ask in the beginning always help guide you and keep you on track.

Now you will have the detailed game plan. Now suddenly “success” MEANS something to you. Gives you the motivation to work hard, because you can see what you will get for all that work and effort. For me it was the critical light-bulb moment that changed my life.

Step 2: Visualize it, put it in action.
I made a Vision Board. I talk about it in my post: Your Challenge, but I got the visual representation of all the things I’d detailed in my list. So go find some great photos (“Google images” is a great place to find the exact photo that represents all the things you have on your list), and make your own goals board. Make sure it’s in a place where you can see it, to remind yourself what your goals are and what it will FEEL like when you achieve those goals.

Step 3: Believe and let go.
This step sounds so simple, but it’s the hardest one by far! It really takes getting back to the kind of faith and belief you had in magic as a 5 year old when you believed in Santa. Sounds insane I know, but that’s what it takes. It requires you to let go of logic and skepticism, and the fear of failure, and just believe.

Don’t worry about all the details of how those items will come into your life, just know that they will. In sales we call that the “assumption close!” Change your vocab form “if” to “when”. Focus on what those experiences will feel like when you have them…and honest to god, before you know it, you WILL have them.

Understand that as you are building the life and the person you want to be, that things come into your life in ways that may or may not be exactly the way you visualized them…so periodically revisit your list, I bet you will find that you had experiences close to the ones on your list or that relate to your list and you never even realized it!

Believe!

Through this process be kind to yourself, constantly feed yourself positive energy, even when you don’t feel like it. If we ARE our thoughts, then think good ones regardless of how childish and stupid it might feel, eventually it will be second nature. Mine in the beginning was “I can do it, I am strong” it’s one I made up to get me through my workouts after my twins were born, and I said it to myself 500 times a day! Finally I realized it had a broader meaning, and it was true, whatever it was I COULD do it, I WAS strong. To this day it runs on auto-pilot in my head all the time, so it completely destroyed the thought “i cant do thiiiissss!”

We are programmed to be down on ourselves and be hard on ourselves, we think that equals humility. But it just perpetuates the cycle of negativity that is very hard to break free from. So flip it. Think the opposite of the negative thought. Stay focused on the end result, the place you want to be “if the world was perfect”. Realize that even if that relationship is the one thing you believe strongly now IS/was your “perfect” trust that everything truly does happen for a reason and the reason may be that you didn’t dream big enough before, there is something more perfect for you in store. Have faith, believe it. Try to learn the lessons as they come, put them into improvements and you will be well on your way! I promise 🙂 …i hope that wasn’t too intense of an answer! lol

Good luck and keep me posted!! 🙂

 

Written by: Sarah Centrella

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Responses From Strangers to My Story Published on The Secret’s Website

Posted on by Sarah Centrella Posted in My Stories — No Comments ↓

These are just some of the messages I’ve gotten the past few days, from around the world, in reaction to reading my personal story on The Secret’s website (title hyperlinks to the story). I’m blown away, and extremely humbled by the response and so happy my story has touched people, my hope and prayer is that it continues to strike a nerve with people and encourages them to make positive changes in their own lives.

Emails:
“Hi I just read your testimonial on the secret website and I just wanted to write you and let you know how inspiring I found your story to be. I read secret testimonials quite frequently to lift my mood and gain faith in the secret. I found yours to be one of the best I’ve ever read, I think it belongs in the book! Stories like yours inspire me to keep believing that life is meant to be abundant and better things are coming my way. Thank you for sharing your story with the world, I wish you the best in all your future endeavors.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Hi There

You don’t know me but i just want to say,i read your story on The Secret website and it moved me,what an inspiration you are!!!It is amazing how your life turned around for you,as i read your story i could really feel your happiness,its like i was there too,just by the way you explained everything!

I don’t know you at all but i feel SOOOOOO HAPPY for you:-)”

~~~~~~~~~
“Thank you for sharing your story,i go onto that website daily to kick start my day and read inspiring stories like yours amongst others.

God Bless you.”

~~~~~~~~~

“I’m not sure if this is you, but I read your story on The Secret website. Was that you? Did it really happen?? I’m so scared to believe,but so intrigued to do it!!! The story that I read was so inspiring:)”

~~~~~~~~~

“I am sitting here with tears in my eyes & they will not top running down my face. I can’t imagine that my life could be as wonderful as yours. I feel so inspired and yet, so… afraid to dream that big. I am in the midst of my storm so all thing look bleak. I am truly happy for you. Please pray for me.”

~~~~~~~~~

“That’s so awesome, Sarah! I just read your story and I’ve been wanting to create my own vision board for some time now. After reading your story, I think I’ll do it today! 🙂 Congrats, by the way, on having a mindset that you can have/achieve whatever it is that you want to in this life. Inspiring and I love it!!”

~~~~~~~
Thank you for taking the time to write to me, if my struggle has given hope or inspiration to anyone then believe me it was worth it! Thank you for giving strength back to me 🙂

My goal is to continue to spread hope, wish me luck!

How to Make a Winning Vision Board

Posted on by Sarah Centrella Posted in Hustle.Believe.Receive., Vision Boards, Your Life Coach — 6 Comments ↓

So those of you, who know me well, have watched the changes in my life materialize over the past two plus years. The life I had three years ago is unrecognizable to the one I have today, and I consider myself blessed to see that as a huge positive. The changes that took place in my life post the collapse of my marriage are positive changes that I designed and brought into being. It didn’t just happen one day that I woke up, had a job I love, with people I care about, doing things I never dreamed possible. It didn’t happen overnight that I began to know some amazing people and experience some life altering moments, or that my children and I have been able to thrive in the face of adversity.

No, none of it “just happened” none of it was an accident. It was all designed, built and envisioned long before the outcomes that are now visible.

My Pinterest Future Board

Several years ago I watched the show on Oprah about The Secret, and read the book. The fallout from the fame that was created distracted many people from the core unshakable truth behind the principle of cause and effect, and the power of our thoughts to control our outcomes. It took me about two years to let it sink into my damaged and depressed soul, but eventually, without me even recognizing it, hope and belief had quietly replaced fear and doubt.

I created my first Future Board, (I call it this instead of a “vision board” because it is much more intentional, it IS my future) back then with images of things and a life that my mind could not fully grasp. I felt foolish. There was no foreseeable way to make any of this come true, I knew that. The images on my board might as well of been those of going to the moon because I knew the likelihood that any of it would become my reality was as good as winning the lottery.

But putting the board together made me happy like a little girl doing a magazine collage so I went with it. Occasionally I would glance at the board and smile thinking, “what if”?

I have written several entries on the topic in the past year laying out all the ways the things on the board have “magically” appeared in my life since then, so I won’t boar you with the details now. Just know that every year, I update my board because so many items were achieved or realized in the prior year that I have to continue to dream bigger! My board is directly in front of me at my desk at work and has been for the past 2 years. Every day I look at it and smile, KNOWING with all that is in me, that it’s mine already I just need to recognize when it shows up.

And before the haters start in about materialism, IT IS NOT ABOUT THAT. It’s about creating the life you want, however it is you see it. But the board is not about THINGS, it’s about the design of your life. What your life looks like, feels like, what you will see and experience, accomplish and do. The images are simply a tangible reminder of the way the life you are creating will FEEL. And consequently how you will FEEL living that life, experiencing those things.

I think of my Future Board as my blue print to the next 3-5 years. I dream big on it, it’s the plans to the house; it’s the architecture to the life I’ve created and am continuing to create. It’s what keeps me focused, driven, cheerful (because my board is full of pretty shinny pink things…Let’s face it!). It has without question changed my thought process which in turn changed my life. The most thrilling thing for me is that I know the rest is coming, I don’t know how or when, and I don’t care. I just know it is. And that makes me very happy indeed!

Soooo…..

Your challenge is: Create a Future Board.
Here are my rules (IDK what the official ones are, these are mine!):

One of my Pinterest board: Moments..

1. Put up pictures of the EXPERIENCES you want to have manifested in your life. This is the KEY. You must focus your attention on THE BIG PICTURE DREAM. The “experience” you want to have, this is critical.

Example: I have a picture on my new board of a diamond engagement ring, but it’s not the ring I think about or want (aka the material object) it’s the marriage to the man of my dreams that the picture represents. So when I look at my board and I see that ring, I’m reminded that one of the important things in my life is that quality relationship and that end goal. Make sense? This is the most critical step in your success and where 90% of people go wrong and don’t get results. The beauty of the secret is the I wont be at all surprised, when it does happen that it would be with that very ring. But that’s not what I’m focusing my attention on. (if you need clarity or have questions on this point please ask, if you don’t get the light-bulb to go on here you will be swimming against the current, treading water, getting nowhere. Leave a comment below and I’ll reply)

2. Your board must reflect all the aspect of your life you would like to “upgrade”/improve/change. Things like health, financial security, fun things you’ve always wanted, places you’ve always wanted to go, things you’ve always wanted to do, and anything else that is important to you, such as religion ect.

3. There should be at least 4 categories represented on the board.
In each category find the BEST possible photo you can that communicates that goal, one that every time you see the photo it will remind you of the goal and make you happy.
Example: in my health section I have a photo of the “26.2” sticker to remind me that I want to run a marathon so I can put that damn sticker on the back of my car, and drive around all pompous because I finished a marathon!.

4. DREAM BIG! When it seems ridiculous, go for the photo that is even MORE over the top, to the point you feel like you have no business dreaming that big! Only you stand in the way of you and your dream.

My Travel Future Board

5. When you’re done the board should be a beautiful colleague of all the goals you want to accomplish in your life. It should make you happy to look at it. It should also make you feel like there is NO possible way any of it is going to come true for little old you, take in that feeling recognize that it’s there and valid…AND THEN LET IT GOOOOOOO!!! Never again think that thought when you look at your board.

6. Visualization is KEY! Take the time to imagine how each of those things will feel, lay out all the details in your mind. Think of super-stars when they win an award, they always say “I’ve dreamed of this moment all my life” and the reality is they have! They have pictured that day in their head a million times, so when it comes, they can recognize it as the culmination of the dream.

7. Put it in a place where you will see it every day, then just let it go. Go about your life, be happy when you look at it, think of each feeling those items represent..But let it go.

8. BELIEVE. It will all come to you. That’s it! Think happy thoughts! (read Belief 101 for tips)

Now you are ready to watch the magic happen in your own life!
Good luck and keep me posted on your fun stories, because you WILL have them.

*Many of mine are on this blog, the tags are “My Personal Stories”  “Living our Dream” in entries like 32,000 Feet 
and
Pinch Me

 
This is my personal “REALITY” or Manifestation Board… all things that have come true!

This post is Step 1 in the process.

Next Read:
Step 2: Change the Voices in Your Head
Step 3: Believe But How?
Step 4: Belief 101


Author: Sarah Centrella https://www.sarahcentrella.com

 

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A Gift for My Boy

Posted on by Sarah Centrella Posted in Hustle.Believe.Receive., Single Mom Life, Sports — 6 Comments ↓
Kanen Rossi and Oregon Duck Players
Kenjon Barner (OR RB); Ed Dickson (Ravens TE)

I have a great son. I know, I know all mothers say that (or at least should!) but it’s true I really do. He’s kind; he has a gentle spirit, a good heart and a fiercely protective nature. He’s an amazing human, not because of his parents or his environment, but because it’s who HE is.

Because of his parents and environment the past 2 ½ years he has been through more than an 8 year old should have to go through. Being the child of a broken home is something I can’t even relate to or understand what his vantage point has or will be, but I know it’s been a very difficult adjustment for him as it would for a child of any age. But through it all he has remained his beautiful self, my friend and helper who I would be lost without.

So that is why this year I really felt he deserved a little TLC and some special attention. He’s never really had a birthday other then when he turned 1 and 5, and this year he was acutely aware of that fact more so then ever before. So as he began his month long count down in December, I began planning and plotting of ways to make this year hopefully the first real birthday he will remember.

Being a single mom, finances are always difficult so this required some out of the box thinking. I’ve been fortunate the past 2 years to of met some pretty amazing people who have become the kind of friends that you just know have your back, and lucky for me they have some pretty cool jobs! I’m not one for calling in favors, but without hesitation everyone I told about my plan to make this the birthday Kanen would never forget, said “what can I do?” So I began dreaming bigger and bigger.

After his first “official” birthday party at the bowling alley with all his friends, (the first time he’s had a party with friends from school), the fun began!

Anthony Tolliver and Kanen Rossi
Anthony Tolliver

A friend of mine plays for the Minnesota Timberwolves,(Anthony Tolliver) and as a gift to Kanen got us the player 100 level seats to the game when the Timberwolves came to play the Blazers. It was doubly exciting for Kanen because he could watch Martel Webster play again, (Kanen went to his basket ball camp this summer) so he was very excited!

The night got better with passes to the club level for dinner before the game and more snacks during the game then an 8 year old should be allowed to eat (a hook –up from our amazing sitter)!

After the game, he got to go down and meet some of the players,including Kevin Love. Kanen actually sat on the NBA player’s bench right after the game! Truly something to remember.

Martell Webster and Kanen Rossi
Martel Webster

But the best moment of all was seeing his face light up when Martel Webster not only recognized him (from summer basketball camp) but remembered his name. He came over and gave Kanen a high five and said “Kanen what’s up my man!” That was priceless. A picture and big “thank you” for Anthony, and I had one happy kid with visions of what is possible when you believe swirling in his little head.

That night we walked hand in hand through downtown Portland about 20 blocks to the car (yeah I got a little lost taking the MAX, oops!), but it was the perfect opportunity to teach life lessons.

I told him this is what happens when you believe in magic. This is what is possible when you expect the amazing. He recapped every moment of the night, eyes bright and then said, “and mama! You didn’t even spend any money! It didn’t even cost a penny!” And I realized he was right, I’d just given my son the kind of evening that millionaires couldn’t buy, the kind with no price tag, and it didn’t cost a cent. That is why I believe in magic! That is why I want to pass that on to my children.

kanen rossi Blazer game
Kanen on the NBA Bench

He then asked me, as we walked through the dark streets of downtown if I was scared and if he should be scared, walking outside late at night in downtown, and it was the perfect time to teach him, that when you are strong and hold your head height and look people in the eye, you create your own safety zone. You create and demand respect and you get it. I can only hope that he remembers to walk with pride regardless of what life throws his way, and respect himself first, so others will follow his example.

Then I got a crazy idea…..

He loves football! It’s our thing, him and me. We watch all the University of Oregon Duck and Baltimore Raven games together (his 2 favorite teams, because his favorite player Ed Dickson played/s Tight End for both). He’s about as nutty a Duck fan as me, knows all the players, and understands the game better than I do. We practice almost every single night for an hour or so in our living room, him running all kinds of formations learning to catch the ball (gotta say he’s pretty good!). So I knew what would be the ultimate experience. When I asked Ed, he immediately said, “Sure, what do you want me to do?” My idea started with, maybe Kanen could meet him and take a picture, maybe have Ed sign a ball.

Then it grew… and grew..! When I asked him if maybe he’d come out and throw the ball with Kanen for a few minutes, he said “No problem, just tell me where”. It was a difficult secret to keep from Kanen and he was catching on. Which meant I’d have to add an additional surprise, so I asked Kenjon Barner, Oregon’s star Running Back (and one of Kanen’s favorite current Duck players) to come join us in a little pickup game. And again without hesitation he said “of course, how can I help?” I was blown away!

Kenjon Barner and Ed Dickson with Kanen Rossi
Kanen playing ball with Kenjon and Ed

But of course we’d need a place to play and it would be dark by the time we could all meet up, so I called my dad who runs the softball facility at Oregon to see if we could have the lights turned on and have the field to ourselves, and just like that…a little idea became a big reality.

I can’t say enough about how great those 2 were with my son, I don’t remember a more amazingly happy hour with him, ever. They treated him like a rock star, put all their attention on him and played some great ball. He’s such a focused little guy he just went out there and went to work with them. He’d been really nervous before hand, but to see the effort they put in to making him feel comfortable and special, is a night that neither Kanen or I will ever forget. It was truly a moment that made me so proud to be his mama and to have such good people in my life that when asked will come through 110%.

Last night Kanen got the last of his birthday celebration surprises with 4 tickets to see the Harlem Globe Trotters, where he and 3 friends got the VIP treatment. Not only did they get great seats in the front but they were the only people allowed on the court behind the rope to get autographs from the players. They had their own security escort and the floor announcer as their personal tour guide. Thanks to a great friend who is the lead announcer for the team, and who wanted to be sure this would be something Kanen wouldn’t soon forget. I wont ever forget look on my son’s face as he walked around meeting the players standing on the Blazer court, and hearing him say to his buddies over and over “this is AWESOME! this is so AWESOME!”.

Kenjon Barner and Ed Dickson

Thank you to everyone who worked so hard to make this little boy smile, and make his dream come true. He will carry it with him for the rest of his life. My hope is that each of you continue to realize what the gift you’ve been given enables you to do;which is make a difference in young children’s lives. An impression that lasts for a lifetime.

*Ed Dickson, TE for the Baltimore Ravens #83
*Kenjon Barner, RB for the Oregon Ducks #24
*Anthony Tolliver, Minnesota Timberwolves #44
*Martel Webster, Minnesota Timberwolves #5

Blazer Game Photos

All Star Football Game Photos
Harlem Globe Trotters Photos

Video of Kenjon Barner playing ball with my son

Video of Ed Dickson and Kenjon Barner playing ball with Kanen

Kanen and his buddies getting VIP autograph session on the court for HGT


Written by: Sarah Centrella

 

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Happy New Year!!

Posted on by Sarah Centrella Posted in My Stories — 1 Comment ↓

I feel so lucky. Honestly! What a year 2010 has been. I’d venture to say it was the best on record for me personally, but the most thrilling thing for me is knowing that the best is yet to come.

I feel like I’ve waited my whole life for this feeling of optimism and excitement. It’s odd because I always KNEW that my day would come and that my life would equal my vision for it. Even still
it’s overwhelming to a degree to begin to see, and have the presence of mind to watch that vision and those dreams unfold. I feel truly fortunate, every day, even the rough ones.

Happy New Year!

As I write this, I bask in the heat of the winter California sunshine, burning the back of my neck just a little. The air is a little salty and the Chardonnay is crisp and delicious! I stop, look up, see the Monterey bay clearly at the end of the street and breathe in. I can’t possibly think of a better way to end an epic year and a great week. I’m sitting at one of my favorite all time little cafe in Pacific Grove, a place I came regularly in my early 20’s when I lived here with my grandmother. On Sundays mornings I would come here and slowly work through my coffee and oatmeal while I buried my head in a book. I called these mornings my “date with myself”. I’m enjoying one now working on my book.

Though I didn’t have my babies for the Holidays this year, I do have a wonderful warm and loving extended family that made the first solo Holiday a beautiful bright experience. And topping it off spending the week with my 88 year-old Noni in one of the most beautiful places I know, seriously what could be better I ask you!?
2010 was the first year on record for me that I EVER achieved a single New Year’s Resolution! I know this is a shameful fact, but in the 20 years I have faithfully been recording my goals and dreams, 2010 was the first time I checked off ALL but ONE! And even that one (“Run a Marathon”) was close, considering I trained with the Marathon team for 6 months, and believe me it will get checked off in 2011!!

The amazing thing about accomplishing goals is that it empowers you to make NEW goals and achieve them! So I’m sitting here day-dreaming. Setting the bar high for myself.
Dreaming big.
What do I want to do?

Where do I want to go?

How successful do I want to be?

What will the year bring for the kids and me?

So many exciting thoughts….. The best part is I know 2011 will bring even better things, as I continue the transition from surviving to thriving. My goal is to find small ways to help others inspire others; bring joy in some small way. I will pass it on.

cheers!!

Here’s to 2011…

….May it be the best year on record for each of you, the first of many, many such years. May we NEVER forget to count our every blessing, and have the presence of mind to enjoy each and every moment.

Subsidize This!

Posted on by Sarah Centrella Posted in Divorce, Parenting — 4 Comments ↓

Sometimes I think I might crack under the pressure.

I don’t mean to complain here and I know there are so many women in shoes similar to mine or worse situations, but I don’t know any personally so all I can do is relate it to what I used to know. The pressure of being a single parent from a financial standpoint is almost unbearable. We live in a society that practically sets its citizens up for failure regardless of how many bread-winners you have, but when that number is just one, it’s truly impossible.

Think about it. There are many other countries that successfully support their citizens. That subsidize health-care, education, child-care, and other basic human necessities and those cultures run smoothly and happily and those things are valued. Family is valued. Education is valued. Health is valued.

But in the U.S. I am penalized to the tune of $19,000 (down from $26,000) per-year (that’s out of take home pay) for being a mother. Its like, (for those of you without children), if you were offered a job and upon acceptance of the position your employer informed you that because you were so lucky to be employed, they were going to deduct 50% of your take home pay as a thank you for your employment. Sound crazy? Well believe me, living in a country where I as a single income earner get absolutely no break in child-care costs, but pay the same as if I lived in a double income household, that sounds just as ludicrous to me!

It’s more than depressing, it’s crippling. In our society, the only relief is when your child is 5 and they start kindergarten. Then you pray like hell you get a full-day school so that you will only have to pay for after school care.

Now to be honest I feel the judgment form all the families I know and love who luckily are not in my shoes and who can’t imagine “paying someone to raise your children” and when I had a husband and someone to help put food on the table I made every sacrifice so that I too could stay home and be with my children, but now what are my options? I mean seriously? My daycare bill would be the same weather I worked at McDonald’s or was a software VP.

It’s hard to fathom why our politicians have never taken up this issue and why our society in general does not protest this point louder. I cannot be the only parent feeling this pain!

By the time my 3 kids are all in at least kindergarten I will of spent a total of $132,000 on daycare for all three of them over their lives, and that is just so I could walk out the door in the morning and try to earn enough to get them a roof over their head. And believe me that is all it does! It won’t stop at kindergarten either, I will still be paying roughly $8,900 per-year in after school care, but at least thank god in 2 years the bill will be half….if I can last that long.

 

Written by: Sarah Centrella

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