22 Rules for Dating

Posted on by Sarah Centrella Posted in Dating — 1 Comment ↓
happy couple, dating advice

I love this list, I couldn’t say it better myself! I think it goes along with much of the relationship advise I give, and is definitely one I try to follow myself…though I admit it’s easier said then done!

Taken from TheFrisky.com, writer Ami Angelowicz lists off things she knew when she was younger about dating.

1. Try not to take anything personally when it comes to dating. Someone always has their own deal going on. We waste all this time trying to figure a dude out when really their motivations are beyond our grasp and often have absolutely nothing to with us at all.
2. Don’t chase after a guy who has rejected you. Not even as a friend. Move on.
3. Protect yourself and protect your heart, because no one else is going to.
4. There’s no such thing as soul mates. There’s just guys who are well suited for you and guys who are not. If you stop looking for “the one” you will be open to “the one that’s good for you.”

5. Let the guy pursue you … at least for a while. They enjoy that. Don’t spoil their fun.
6. If you fall in love with a fantasy, your fantasy of love will surely be crushed. There is no perfect man with a white horse and a cape … or whatever. Men are hopelessly imperfect (as are women). Don’t idealize him, try to see him for who he really is.
7. Chemistry can be unexpected and it can grow. It happens. It does. I promise. Attraction is such a mystery. Sometimes you’ll be shocked by who you’re attracted to. Be open to different kinds of guys.
8. It’s okay to date lots of people to find one that is special. In fact, it’s necessary. The more guys you date, the easier it will be to know when you’ve found a keeper.
9. Having sex too soon often ruins all chances for a serious relationship. It’s fine if casual sex is what you’re after. Just be forewarned.
10. There’s always another guy out there if things don’t work out. In fact, there are tons. Plenty.
11. Even if he was a total a**hole, he was probably doing the best he knew how to do. His best just wasn’t nearly good enough for you.
12. It’s best just to be honest. It may feel uncomfortable in the moment, but you’ll be able to sleep better at night. So grow a pair and say what’s on your mind.
13. You are looking for a feeling someone gives you and not a list of qualities. Throw out the stupid list with hair color, eye color, job, etc. Tune into the way you feel when you’re around him.
14. Keep your dating karma in check. Treat people’s hearts the way you would like yours to be treated . That is all.
15. Timing really is important. And so annoying. But so essential. All the stars have to align with you and the other person. It’s rare that it happens … but it does occasionally.
16. There’s never any reason to rush into anything. A guy who really likes you will still really like you tomorrow.happy couple, dating advice

 17. Make sure you figure out who you are before figuring out who you want to love. You must know yourself and love yourself to share love. Sounds cheesy, but it’s true. Work on your relationship with yourself first.
18. Having a man in your life will not solve a single one of your existing problems. Not a one.
19. Drinking and dating. Sigh. Not usually a good idea in excess. Usually just embarrassing.
20. Listen to what he tells you about himself. It’s usually true. If he says, “I don’t want a relationship” or “I am not able to commit,” he means it.
21. If he’s involved with someone else, forget it.
22. No guy is worth losing good friends and family over. If everyone in your life hates him, there is probably a very good reason. Pay attention.

Sarah Centrella is the author of the book Hustle Believe Receive which teaches you how to apply the #HBRMethod to change your life and live your dream.

Follow on social media: Instagram | Twitter | Snapchat | Pinterest | YouTube |Periscope @sarahcentrella

Stop Eating Cake!

Posted on by Sarah Centrella Posted in Health & Fitness, Hustle.Believe.Receive., Your Life Coach — 8 Comments ↓

Reader response from her question after reading my answer.  this reader question, Asking for a little more clarity:
“I do understand what you are saying, but how can I get happy if this makes me feel so bad like i can’t go on. I can’t not obsess because it’s what I want.

Yes it does feel like that is what is happening. I feel unhappy about my job life home everything. but I thought that thoughts make things. So if I concentrate my thoughts on just the happy ending and happy feeling of being in love happy in a job and traveling will it happen? How can I make myself happy, when I’m really not.”
~Female UK

It starts with baby steps. It starts with you sitting down and making  a huge detailed list of what YOU REALLY REALLY want in life. Leave him totally off your list, because he is too specific, too limiting to your dreams. Your real dream is to be madly in love and happy right?? So open your mind up to the idea that maybe there are other ways to get to that goal. 


Then go find pictures that represent every item on your list. Google Images is perfect for this, there are images for every phrase you can imagine. Print them and put your board up. Put it someplace where you see it all day every day. Then follow the steps in “Change the voices in your head” and “Belief 101“. At first all you need to do is put the board up, and kill the voices. Change the subject on your brain every time you think about him or negative thoughts.


That’s it.
Those 2 things are your fist assignment.

Then slowly remind yourself of the steps to believe. But just remember this is going to be a long journey. You have given this all your mind-space for so long, it’s going to take a while to retrain your brain.

It’s like if you eat cake every single day, all day long, what would happen? You’d gain 75 lbs!! Once you got fed up ENOUGH, and sick ENOUGH of looking at your reflection in the mirror, you’d need to make a conscious decision to do something about it, right? But WHAT would you need to do?? How do you get started once you’ve gotten yourself this far gone?

  • Step 1. STOP EATING CAKE! Aka: knock it off! Decide to make a change.
  • Step 2. Start walking (NOT RUNNING). Just get off the couch and walk, a little every single day. Make that commitment and do it. The more you do it, the easier it becomes. Aka: put up your Vision Board, look at it and focus on the big picture goals you have for yourself. Let those pictures spark your imagination, and give you hope).
  • Step 3. START eating non-cake, aka healthy food. Feed and nourish your body the RIGHT way. Aka: start telling yourself all the mantra’s and Affirmations you have that build your self-esteem and replenish your spirit. You won’t believe them at first, and that’s just fine, keep telling yourself all that stuff all day long anyway, eventually you will).
  • Step 4. Be patient and consistent. Never give up. 
  • Step 5. Watch the weight start to come off over time. It will not happen over-night. Weight is the perfect example here for you, because your situation is MENTAL weight. What I’m outlining here, is a step-by-step guide to REMOVE that mental weight. To give you YOUR life back! It takes time, hard work and dedication to get results. But the good news is EVERYONE who does this loses weight!! Right? So you will get there too. If you do this, and take it seriously you will be free of this mental chain around your neck that is tying you to an anchor at the bottom of the sea, begging you to drowned. But you are bigger, smarter and stronger then it. Now you know how to break free. You just have to WANT IT. I mean want it like your life is dependent on it! If you were really drowning your survival instincts would take over your body and force you to fight it, right? Force you to do anything in your power to swim to the top. Take this just as seriously.
  • Step 5. Run a Marathon! Dream big! Now that you have a nice lean new body, you will feel inspired to dream bigger than you ever thought possible before. Now you are free to dream big. Your self confidence is restored, you are happy, you are in the phase where believing is just like breathing. It’s all getting easy now. You are seeing your goals realized. Aka: Now you’re ready for the universe to bring you the love of your life. stop eating cake and start runningThis process will take time. I can’t emphasis this enough. You are rebuilding yourself apart from him, and literately deciding who YOU want to be. You are then going out and making that a reality. That is a lot of power that you have. That means if you set your mind to it, you WILL achieve it.

I hope this helped make things just a little more clear for you. Remember no one is responsible for your happiness or unhappiness but you. Even if you had him you would not be happy. Because what you need to do to find true happiness is, address the things in your life that will bring YOU peace and joy in your own heart independent of him. You had him once, and it in the end didn’t bring you happiness.  You admittedly self-destructed it and drove him away. The universe won’t bring you another one until you address those issues that wont recreate the same problem the next time.

Don’t let this discourage you. Let it empower you! Now you know how to address it and fix it for good. Life is all about lessons, and learning from each experience, and growing from them. Becoming a better person from the lessons we learn. Take the lesson from this and use it to become a force to be reckoned with.

You got this girl. Keep me posted on your journey. I want to read your success story in a year! I’ll post it here 🙂

P.S. sorry for the formatting and highlighting in this post, I cant seem to change it to save my life! 🙁 

 

 

 

Sarah Centrella is the author of the book Hustle Believe Receive which teaches you how to apply the #HBRMethod to change your life and live your dream.

Follow on social media: Instagram | Twitter | Snapchat | Pinterest | YouTube |Periscope @sarahcentrella

 

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Relationships and the Law of Attraction

Posted on by Sarah Centrella Posted in Dating — 2 Comments ↓

Her insecurities lead to a painful end to their relationship. They live in different countries now, but she is not able to get past it, to the point it consumes her life. She wants to know if The Secret will bring him back, and if focusing on positives will draw him back to her.
~Female reader in the UK

You said that The Secret brought you together, but that through your actions and insecurities you drove him away. And based on what you have described I can see how that would be true. Men do not like to feel trapped by a women who clings to them and cant function without them. At first they think it’s kind of
endearing, but quickly it becomes poison that kills the relationship. Then they do what he did, which is try to make you hate him so you would end it. That way he could get out of the relationship without breaking up with you, it doesn’t however mean that he didn’t want to end it, he just felt he was taking the nice way out. But from your story there is no question in my mind that he was through.

So your question is will The Secret bring him back to you and mend this relationship? I can say that I cant imagine how or why it would.

This relationship is NOT healthy. It wasn’t healthy for a long time. Look at the way you have emotionally pined for him since he left, to the point you cant eat? What about that is healthy or good for you? I understand that you love him. Love makes things hard, but it also makes us stupid and blind. There is one basic truth which is, if he wanted to be with you right now he would be. He would have come home, and you would be together. But that is not the reality and that is something that you need to face to be able to move on to what is really the right situation that is waiting for you.
The sooner you can accept this, the better for you.

If you believe in The Secret then you know that what you think about, what drives your emotions and feelings, and what you obsess about is what you get more of. So the more you obsess about him the crazier your head gets. It doesn’t bring him to you, it just makes you go crazy. Does that make sense and at all feel like whats been happening? It just keeps getting worse and worse in your mind right? To the point where you are seeing a clairvoyant to try and give you his feelings and emotions, does nothing sound crazy to you about that?

The Secret can bring you a loving amazing relationship, but I can almost promise you it will not be this one. If you could focus all the negative energy you are wasting on this old relationship which is finished (regardless of what anyone says, he is moving on with his life), and instead channel that into positive feelings toward yourself then you would be on the right path to happiness and finding the man of your dreams.

But you will NOT be ready for him in this condition. You need to take the time to heal your heart, and build your self-esteem for real. When you get to a place of confidence and love for yourself, where you are happy on your own…then the universe will deliver your wish. If it brought it to you now, you would get the same result as last time.

Remember that when you do find that right love, that insecurity and jealousy are cancer to a relationship. Read my post “kill the voices in your head” and really let that set in. You have got to kill these voices in your head that want to take you down. You need to get control of your thoughts, feelings, and emotions which will lead to the results you want. Don’t let doubt and insecurity take away from the beautiful women you are.

So if I were you (and believe me I have been many times!!). I would do whatever I had to, to clear my head of him. Delete any way you have of contacting him, get rid of messages, emails, photos whatever it is that you dwell and obsess on that remind you of him, get RID of it! Then get some mantra’s ready to start working on YOU. Reading the posts I suggested above gives tips for this as well as “Believe. But how?” and “Belief 101” I also have an old one I wrote about my experience called “letting go” which might help. I have struggled with this very thing on several occasions. Until I came to the realization that I was holding on to negative and not trusting that the universe knew what was best for me and had ended the relationship for me.

You then need to believe that the right guy is on his way. So your job now is to get your heart and head ready so you can have a long healthy relationship when he comes your way.

Don’t let this get you down. Let it hurt. Get mad, whatever you gotta do until you face the truth, and make the change. You can do this! I know you can! Get free from the prison you put yourself in, and come outside…it’s nice out here 🙂

Find peace and freedom in letting go…

 

Click HERE to pre-order my book #HustleBelieveReceive which gives my 8 steps to success to changing your life and living your dream. Not all “law of attraction” teaching works, most don’t intact. But over the last 5 years I’ve learned what does and how to quickly and easily apply it to get fast, life changing results. LEARN MORE. 

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Traditions. The Joy Of Parenting

Posted on by Sarah Centrella Posted in Parenting — 2 Comments ↓

I think one of the best things about being a mama/parent is getting to see your children delight in the traditions that you pass on to them. For some reason I have always, since I can remember been one of those people who was obsessed with tradition. Possibly because growing up, I wasn’t really taught any to speak of.

I was raised unconventionally to put it mildly so all the occasions that people typically associate with tradition were not things that we celebrated, Christmas, birthdays, Easter ect. But still I remember being 8 or 9 years old and trying to create them. Even though we didn’t observe holidays I wanted to at least cook the same dish every year on that day, or find a way to mark the day that would make it our own unique tradition. I was demanding and focused about it too. I don’t think the rest of my family really cared one way or the other, but to this day I’m still obsessed with passing on the traditions I tried to give my family as a little girl.

Most all the traditions that I do have from growing up revolve around food. Considering we didn’t do may of the other physical things, and money was always tight so we didn’t exchange gifts. So the way we celebrated a special occasion was with lovingly prepared meals and treats.

My birthday dinner: My mom’s Eggplant Stroganoff. The best in the world!
Thanksgiving: baked yams, “Gluten” (homemade fake meet), Brussels sprouts, stuffing with walnuts and apples, my moms jello salad with cream cheese topping, my special apple and Black Cherry pie, black olives, cranberries, chips and onion dip. (Since I was 19 I have hosted Thanksgiving, just to be sure we didn’t miss a single thing!)
My brother’s birthday dinner: My moms amazing Lentil Soup with a dollop of sour cream
Christmas: My Noni’s (Grandma’s) sweet rolls (I have the recipe!)
The list goes on and on….

single parenting, mother and daughter

I find, now that my kids are a little older it’s starting to be fun to see them excited by the same things that excited me. Little things, tiny things really. Like cooking together, the way I did. Teaching them that making something special in the kitchen is one way that a parent shows love and passes on their traditions to you, that making great food can only be done with love.

One of my favorite childhood food traditions is the special way I learned to make popcorn. My dad was the only one in our family who knew how to make it and he usually worked late nights, but on Friday or Saturday night we would all chant “popcorn! popcorn!” and he would heat the oil in the pan on the stove. Drop 3 kernels in the pan, wait for all 3 to pop then pour the rest into the hot oil. Then rhythmically and continuously shake the pan, lid on over the hot stove. We’d watch in awe as the lid would rise several inches off the pan, white popcorn lifting it with the sound of the 4th of July. Salt and Nutritional Yeast, our own little bowls and it would be time to settle in for a story. I remember feeling so honored when he passed the baton to me, and how many years it took me to get it just perfect. To this day I think I’m the only one in my family that makes it this way.

One of the reasons I love this so much as a child, was that my father always told us that this was how his mother, my beloved Noni made pop-corn for him as a boy. Those were the magic words, I knew that made this a “family tradition” which I so desperately wanted more of. Now it seems nightly that I hear “popcorn! popcorn!” from my own 3 little monkeys. I make it the exact same way, and tell them every time that this recipe has been passed down to them, now the 4th generation. I can promise that all 3 of my kids know how to make it already (of course I wont let them!) but they know every step, and they stand beside me and watch the lid rise the way I did.

These are the moments, when you really feel the gravity of being a parent. When you realize (not like you don’t every day, but still) that this is for real. These little people are learning and internalizing everything you teach them, and from it they will decide what are their defining childhood memories. It’s such an awe inspiring responsibility, but also such pure, simple joy.

With each stage my children go through there is something new to love and drink in about them, but this might just be my favorite so far. Everyone is big enough to rough-house together. The girls are mature enough to know who is wearing the most beautiful dress and has the best moves on Dancing With The Stars (and equally as critical who doesn’t!). My son can enjoy watching a game at the same level of understanding as me (yes, I realize this does not speak highly of my understanding of the game…zip-it!). And they all can, want to, and actually do, snuggle in for a story.

They are truly the greatest gift. I’m thankful for everyday that I am their mama.

 

Sarah Centrella is the author of the book Hustle Believe Receive which teaches you how to apply the #HBRMethod to change your life and live your dream.

Follow on social media: Instagram | Twitter | Snapchat | Pinterest | YouTube |Periscope @sarahcentrella

Change The Voices In Your Head

Posted on by Sarah Centrella Posted in Health & Fitness, Motivation & Inspiration — 13 Comments ↓
change the voices in your head
Beauty is in your perception.

“Change the voices in your head, make them like you instead” as PINK would say. I’ve talked a lot about how to believe lately on my blog and I think it’s a critical step. But than someone asked “how do I even get there?” And I thought, what a great question. I remember when I was starting out and faith was just something I couldn’t even get my head around. I wast ready for it yet.  I was so full of self-loathing and life-loathing that having faith it would get better, or that my dreams would come true, was an irrelevant starting point for me.
So I decided I’m gonna take you all to the true FIRST step in changing your life. Change the voices in your head.

You know the ones I mean, the ones that tell you your fat and unattractive. The ones that remind you all day how much your life sucks. The ones that tell you no one will love you. The ones that say your not good enough. That say you suck as a parent. That there will never be enough money.  Whatever your demons are (and we have all struggled our entire lives with them) now is the time to rewrite the script in your head.

This is the most difficult part of your journey. It’s harder than believing. Because if you can master this, then believing will come second nature. So know that going in. This will be the part that is the fight of your life.

Pick a part of your life you would like to change, any part. Now think about the loop that runs non-stop in your brain about that specific thing. Is it positive or negative? When you think about it does it make you feel better or worse? If worse, does it have the power to actually change your mood? Make you feel depressed? Make you act on that depression? Does it create a “funk”? Is it all you think about?

You control your thoughts, they don’t control you.

What do I mean? Let me give you an example.

So for me personally I have struggled with my weight my whole life. I was never what would be technically considered “fat or obese” but I was over-weight, and have always been on the curvy side. But obese is how I’ve always FELT. That was the message I fed my brain since I was about 9 years old. It didn’t matter that when I got married I was a lean, hard-body size 8. Nothing mattered, and nothing I could do was good enough to change that message I constantly gave my brain. “I wasn’t pretty, I’m fat” whatever. Without question it was all I thought about from morning till night. It destroyed my mood, depressed me. All the things above it did. Those thoughts controlled me.

So when I learned about the Law of Attraction, it taught me that what I obsess about is what I get more of. That scared the shit outa me! I didn’t want more of THAT.

So I came up with a mantra and hit the gym. My mantra EVERY time a negative thought came into my head was “I can do it, I am strong” (my Facebook friends will recognize this quote as it’s my status whenever I’m having a tough day!). I would (and still do) say it over and over and over in my head, to silence my internal critic.

So my first step, was to kill the negative voices in my head. Think of those thoughts as a computer worm or virus. If someone sent you an email and told you definitively that if you opened it, it had the power to wipe all your files and destroy all your happy memories (photos) with one-click, would you open it? Come on now! So the same rule applies. Those negative thoughts are poison. They have the power to destroy ALL the work you are doing to change your life and your attitude. GIVE THEM NO MIND SPACE. Change the subject on your thoughts, have your mantra ready, and kill it!

Isn’t it liberating to know you have this kinda power on yourself? For me it rocked my world! I had NO idea I could rewrite the script in my head. No one had ever told me that. I thought I was stuck thinking that way for the rest of my life. Thank god that’s total crap, and we do have the power!

It took a while for me. But one day I woke-up looked in the mirror and really liked what I saw. I saw me for the first time the way other people had. I felt beautiful. I was beautiful. Somehow in the mean time the weight had just come off (yes I was always hitting the gym too). But it had stopped being a struggle a long time ago, long before I realized it.

That’s the beauty of this. If you diligently fight for your life to change the voices in your head, one day you will stop fighting and they will be changed. That’s when belief becomes the easy next step.

If you walk away with nothing else from this post, I hope it’s that you realize (like seriously) that it’s you and only you that can do this. You have the power.

And when you do, you will of changed your life.

Pink’s song:  Pretty Pretty Please

 

 

Sarah Centrella is the author of the book Hustle Believe Receive which teaches you how to apply the #HBRMethod to change your life and live your dream.

Follow on social media: Instagram | Twitter | Snapchat | Pinterest | YouTube |Periscope @sarahcentrella

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Belief 101

Posted on by Sarah Centrella Posted in Motivation & Inspiration — 10 Comments ↓
Believe

Teach yourself to really truly BELIEVE.

Belief 101:

  • Put up your Vision Board (representing the EXPERIENCES you want to have, and how those will make you feel, NOT the material objects). Read my blog “Your Challenge, Yes I mean You!” to learn how to create a good board. 
  • Speak and own your future. Don’t say “I will”, say “I do, I am”.
  • Focus on THE BIG PICTURE DREAM!!! I cant overemphasis this point enough. Don’t get caught up in the here and now. (Big Picture)
  • Don’t EVER get discouraged. None of this has an expiration date. Your dreams don’t have an expiration date. They have the timeline WE think, and want them to come true by, but get that out of your head. Those thoughts drive stress and stress drives more stress and gets you in a sink-hole. Just toss out your expectations, and know that when the time is right the dream will manifest. BELIEVE.
  • Dare to Dream. Nope your not daring! I mean really dream. Dream the impossible. Dream the Oprah of all dreams. Take that dream to the level you are so scared to even think about let alone say out-loud. Go there! 
  • Cast out doubt. Yes one 2% of the population is extremely successful in whatever that dream is. So what? Who on earth ever told you that you cant be part of that 2%? I mean really. Don’t put a limit on it…not even a subconscious one. You really are the only thing that stands between you and your dream.
  • Now get to work! Don’t just sit on your ass and hope it falls from the sky! You have a board full of dreams, that’s the life you are creating. Take the appropriate steps in the right direction. Example: If your dream is to play in the NFL but you’ve never seen a gym, now might be a good time to call 24 hr fitness and ask to speak to a trainer. It might also be a good idea to spend every waking moment working on your fitness, and skills….just saying! In other-words, use common sense. No dream is out of reach, but they do take work. Dedication, tenacity and hard work get rewarded.
  • Step out of your comfort zone (aka jump off the cliff). Do that first step in the right direction that scares the living daylight out of you. Then do the second and so on. Each step will probably feel like your naked on stage at the Oscar’s. But do them. 
  • The Law Of Attraction draws the opportunities into your life, only the smart people of the world recognize that opportunity and act on it. The rest are thinking that if they have a picture of a 2011 Range Rover on their wall, that someone should drive it to your door ring the bell and hand over the keys. The Law of Attraction brings it to you in other forms. Maybe that’s randomly the car your new boyfriend drives, or the one you got from the rental company for a week…or whatever. The point is don’t be so wrapped up in the exactness of your dream that you miss it when it comes. 
  • Now just BELIEVE. Know it will come.


Here is my personal example of how I learned to believe: 

I have always wanted to write my memoir or a book about my life. But I was terrified. I’m not a writer.  But about 2 years ago I began writing as an outlet for my emotions and experiences, and I started this blog. But I kept it hidden. I didn’t post it anywhere, (hard to believe I know, but bear with me here!), I didn’t tell a soul that I was writing. I didn’t put my name on it for fear somehow, someone would discover it. I was scared to death. I didn’t consider myself a writer, and felt like a fraud if I were to admit this dream to anyone. It went on that way for about a year and a half. 

Believe

 Then slowly I began telling a few people, sending them the link. Then I posted it on my Facebook profile page, but didn’t post the story links themselves. Then finally I put my name on it. 
     
Eventually I started saying that “writing” is my hobby, I’m a writer”. The first time I said that out loud I think I was expecting the world to stop, point and laugh (and it kinda does because I cant spell and my grammar sucks!). But the point is that once I took that leap of faith to begin to OWN this dream then things began to just happen.
     
The story that was published on The Secret’s website about my journey, was by mistake with my real name. When it came out I about had a panic attack! But then I took a deep breath, and realized that this was the next step in my dream coming true.
     
So  fear is there at each step in the journey. You just need to learn how to shut it up, and make belief and faith the stronger voice in your head.

Also read Believe. But How??


Also if you need help with the step BEFORE believing. Read Change the Voices In Your Head 



Sarah Centrella is the author of the book Hustle Believe Receive which teaches you how to apply the #HBRMethod to change your life and live your dream.

Follow on social media: Instagram | Twitter | Snapchat | Pinterest | YouTube |Periscope @sarahcentrella

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Believe. But HOW???

Posted on by Sarah Centrella Posted in Hustle.Believe.Receive., Your Life Coach — 20 Comments ↓
Why is it so hard for us to believe? I mean, really. I was talking to a friend about this the other day

when she asked me if I taught my kids to believe in Santa and other fairy-tales. I said no. But mostly because I wasn’t raised believing in them, so it was natural for me not to teach that to my children.

But then I got to thinking, it’s as if we are trained and
genetically coded NOT to believe. In anything!
Picture a little child, one or two years old.  The parent is standing waist-deep in a swimming pool, and the child is standing on the ledge of the pool, crying.  Their knees are shaking, their chubby arms wrapped around their trembling little bodies in a self-protective hug. They are being asked by the one person they love most in the world, who has in past experience, never dropped or hurt them; to jump. They are terrified. They instinctively believe that they could drown, and are skeptical that their parent will be able to catch and protect them.
But with enough reassurance from their mom or dad they eventually, act on faith and jump.  After that initial jump, because the parent caught them as promised, they slowly begin to trust and believe that they will be safe.  And then one day they run for the pool, parent in a panic running after them, trying to explain that they can’t jump in the pool alone.  Over time and with experience they learn to trust and believe in something that seemed ridiculous and terrifying in the beginning. They have taught themselves how to believe, and how to overcome fear.
I think the reverse is also true.  When we convince our kids to believe in something that we know is not true (like Santa), that it strips them of the innocence and fragility of belief.  These are the same things most of us have grown up with. The phrases “I’ll
believe it when I see it.” Or “If it’s too good to be true, it probably is.”  That type of energy is all around us our entire life. People call it
being “realistic”, but the truth is, it’s just limiting your reality,
preventing you from creating a new and better one.
Much of it stems from doubt, fear, and intellectual analysis.  Each of these get in the way of child-like belief, and that is universal across the world. Why is it so hard to believe in the possibility of possibility? Or in “magic”?   Because we have no concrete data points?  Because we believe (subconsciously or not) that….
disappointment is eminent? Who told us that? What data points have we built up over our lifetime that support that core belief?
If that is your belief, that will be your result. Every time.
Let me say that again, just in case you’re speed reading. If in your heart of hearts, that deep of deepest place in your core being, you BELIEVE that life will disappoint you. IT WILL. Period. In every area. If you’re afraid to jump off that cliff, into the obis of believing in something you cannot see, have no proof to back up, and no logical reason to trust, then that fear will prevent you from jumping. But what faith and belief do is provide a par-shoot, or a soft landing.
So JUMP.
Regardless of upbringing, I truly believe that anyone can teach themselves how to have faith and believe in their dream. Anyone can find their own place of unconditional faith. To get the results you want, and to watch your life begin to change, you need to just jump off the cliff. You may not understand everything about how Hustle.Believe.Receive. works, or how your life will change, and that’s okay.  You just need to trust that it does, there are many, many examples proving this to be true. If you want a different life, if you want to change your thinking and have that change your life, then don’t let fear and doubt get in your way. Fear is there, it’s impossible to always avoid it, but if we train our minds to think beyond it, and to power through those thoughts then belief begins to be more powerful than fear.  

And that’s when the magic begins…when you what??? …BELIEVE.

The faith of a child, the Bible says. It’s knowing without question that those experiences are on their way and that at some point in your life, probably when you least expect it, they will come to you.  You will have attracted them through faith and actions. Belief is a learned behavior, like anything else. It’s something that comes to us over time with practice. What strengthens belief is celebrating every little win, embracing them with gratitude. When you do that, you start to live in a new awareness where you see signs of positive change all around you. You begin to see the little things you’re attracting into your life that are part of your dream, and your faith begins to grow. So don’t worry if it all sounds a little crazy right now, it will come to you as long as you don’t give up.  And then one day you will realize that you absolutely believe that this works, it’s no longer something you tell yourself, it’s who you are.

~Read Belief 101 for tips on how to teach yourself to believe

 

Author Bio:
Sarah Centrella is a Success Coach for athletes and anyone with a dream. She is also an author an motivational speaker.  Follow her on Twitter for motivation and inspiration, and sign up to be a Member of her blog for free success coaching classes.

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Should I leave a Bad Marriage?

Posted on by Sarah Centrella Posted in Dating — 6 Comments ↓

Reader Question:
A female reader wants advise on what to do if she is trapped in an unhealthy unhappy marriage. She has dreams for her life, and this isn’t it!
Female 33, UK

This is a difficult situation. I can so clearly relate. Before my husband’s affair, I was in your position. Chronically unhappy. Chronically sad. Held captive by my life. By a husband who didn’t know how to show me love or affection, how to relate to me or how NOT to stifle my dreams. I felt I was dying a slow death in “the perfect life”.

I think honestly in my case, (almost 2 years before I discovered the affair), when I did my Vision Board, and dared to dream just a little, that I planted the seed in my mind that there was another life possible for me. The amazing or crazy thing about The Secret is that it works to fulfill that Big Picture dream for you.

I never would of imagined that the only way for me to fulfill my dreams was to have my marriage end the way that it did. But in truth, that’s the only way that would of worked. I think the Universe knew that. It knew that I would of never had the courage to end it on my own, so it did it for me. People always ask me if when I found out he was cheating, if I tried to save my marriage. I always reply without hesitation “hell no!” Not because at the time I was thinking “this is my escape opportunity (which it turned out to be) but because at the time I thought “why on earth would I fight for someone who openly turned his back on me and our children?”

I guess what I’m trying  to say is that in your case if you truly feel the fire in your soul for a different life, and you believe that it’s possible, then it is. It will take immeasurable strength and courage to leave an unhappy life to start a new one, more so than my situation did.

But it can be done.

It sounds like that’s a conscious decision you need to make for you and your family weighing out what is most important to you in life. Can you really see yourself living in your current situation until death?
We only have ONE life.
One chance.
That’s it. So I have always believed that taking chances and taking risk and being brave enough to follow your heart and your passion will pay off in the end. But you must be ready for hardship and struggle and be okay with that.

For me, though my life in most was intensely harder, especially the first year, I was 100% happier. Because for the first time in my life I was in charge. I called the shots. No one was there to shoot down my dreams. And 2 years latter I am achieving the dreams and life I set for myself when I was 13-14 years old. This is the life I always pictured myself living, but I NEVER could of lived this life with my ex husband, never.
So everything happens for a reason. Have faith in that fact.

My only advise is follow your heart, your soul conviction. You are stronger and more capable than you give yourself credit for, we all are. Just believe.

Good luck! keep me posted 🙂

~Written by Sarah Centrella for Thoughts.Stories.Life.

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